Eighteen Ain't So Sweet!
by hollymarie4
Summary: 18 year old Ashley sucks at relationships, so she just doesn't have them. That is until she meets 16 year old Spencer.
1. Introduction

**Chapter 1  
**  
Why is it that things never work out the way we plan? Things never seem to go how we want. What is that? I think they call it life... Whatever... I call it the Universe fucking shit up... Why can't we just be happy? Why does everything have to always suck?... Sorry if I sound a little erratic, but with the year I've had you'd think life sucks too. I guess I'll start from the beginning. Well not the beginning of my life, but I'll start from when my world came crashing down.

**Sunday, April 1st**

"Mom, dad lets go we're gonna be late." I yelled up the stairs.

"We're coming sweetie, just give us a minute." She yelled back. 'God, how long does it take to change clothes?' I thought to myself as I walked in the kitchen to help myself to some of my sister's soda. She hated when I took her stuff without asking. That's really the only reason why I did it.

Oh, by the way I'm Ashley Davies, but most people just call me Ash for short.

I'm 18.

I have three sisters and one brother. My oldest sister Anna is 24, she doesn't live with us though she lives with her boyfriend and daughter. My brother Adrian is 22, yes he still lives at home with his parents, pathetic right? Aubrey she's 20, God does she get on my nerves, it's her stuff that I'm always taking. It was my mom's idea to name us all with A names.

So cliché, I know And the youngest Kyla she's 18 too (only 3 months younger than me), technically she's my half sister because she's only my dad's child.

Yeah my dad and my mom split for a minute and my dad decided to play house with another woman.

Anyway, Kyla and I are the closest, I guess because we both feel like the outsiders of the family. For a while my mom didn't really like her and treated her mean when my dad wasn't around but I always took up for her which made us extremely close. But anyway that's my family. Oh, my mom's name is Christine and my dad's name is Raife. They're both very successful business people so money has never been an object for my family. It's a blessing, but also a curse.

"Ashley sweetie," My mom said almost yelling.

"Jeez mom, I'm standing right next to you don't have to yell." I said getting up from the bar stool and throwing the empty can away that had Aubrey's name on it.

"We'll I've been calling your name for like the past five minutes and you weren't answering so..."

"So you decided to give me a migraine?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh hush, I barely raised my voice. Your father is waiting in the car." she said putting on her jacket.

"Mom it's like 200 hundred degree's outside, why are you wearing a jacket?" I asked walking into the living room to grab my bag.

"It might be cold in the building." She said following behind me.

"Okay, whatever. I'm taking my car so you and dad can just follow me." I said opening up the front door.

"Why don't you just ride with your father and I sweetie?"

"Because." I said casually.

"Because is not an answer Ashley, I've told you that a hundred times."

"Mom, look I want to take my car, is that a crime?" I asked frivolously.

"Okay, fine. But hurry or we're going to be late." She said walking over to the passenger side of my dad's 2008 Chevy Impala.

"Not my fault," I yelled behind me as I opened the garage door to get my baby out. A 2008 BMW 725i, God do I love my car. I pulled out and was followed by my dad.

We're on our way to Kyla's pre-graduation thing. I forget what they're called. The rest of my family is already there, I had to be the one to volunteer to wait for my parents to get home, they both suck with directions, so I said I'd stay and show them how to get there. We're here, and as much as I love my sister, I can't wait for this to be over.

Wishes do come true. It wasn't as long as I thought it would be, only an hour. A few speakers, a couple songs and some remarks from the principal and we're home free. After the ceremony my family and few of Kyla's friends and their parents went out to dinner. It was the longest hour and a half of my life.

What is it with moms and the need to tell embarrassing baby stories about their children?

Good thing my friend Josie was here or I don't think I would have made it.

Actually Josie's not really a friend, she's more like... how do I say this nicely, she's a benefit without the friend part, but I didn't want to be alone so I called and asked her to come.

All my actual friends were too busy. By the way I'm gay, well bisexual but mostly I'm attracted to girls.

My parents know and to my surprise they were really cool about it.

I honestly thought my mom would freak out but she was totally okay with it.

I came out about 6 years ago.

But I've known since I was eleven. My mom is always asking me stupid questions like, how did you know? And what's the difference between sex with a girl and sex with a guy? Some things parents should just know not to ask. But believe it or not I talk to my dad about those types of things. We're extremely close. He's also a really great listener.

And so is my therapist. But we don't really do much talking in my sessions. Yeah, I'm banging my therapist. She's only 28 if that makes it any better. No?... didn't think it would. Well I've been in therapy for about a year now, I started having nightmares about the guy that used to abuse me when I was younger so my parents decided to send me to therapy. Best thing they ever did for me if you know what I mean. Tomorrow's my last session actually.

Doc thinks I'm cured. Cured of what exactly, my debaucheries? my inability to be in a relationship without cheating? Whatever she 'thinks' I'm cured of, it's definitely not those things. Maybe it's just the nightmares. She may be right I haven't had one for almost six months now. Maybe I should say they've come back so she'll keep seeing me. I knew that once the therapy sessions stop so would our hot and heated sessions. There was no way we could keep it going without my parents finding out. I didn't want her to lose her job or anything. If tomorrow was going to be our last session, I was going to make damn sure it would be our best.


	2. And so it begins

**Chapter 2**

**Monday April 2nd**

"So is there anything that you would like to talk about in particular Ashley, being that it is our last session together?" She asked readjusting her skirt and taking a seat behind her desk.

"What if I said the dreams have come back?" I asked knowing the answer.

"I'd say you were lying to keep coming here." she said looking into a mirror on her desk, touching up her lipstick.

"Then you'd be right." I said getting up off the couch, (the couch that only a few minutes before I had her screaming my name in ecstasy), and walked over to her.

"Why can't we just like sneak and see each other?" I asked hoping up on her desk.

"Because, it's too risky. I could lose my license."

"I'm 18 Rebbecca, I'm not a kid." I said tracing her jaw line with my finger. She was incredibly hot, 5'9, brunette hair, gray eyes; the perfect combination.

"That's not the point, you were my patient, and people would think that I took advantage of you while you were in a very emotional state. Either way I can't do this anymore anyway, Rob is getting suspicious." Oh did I forget to mention that she's married. I know I'm a bad person but hey, she could have said no on numerous occasions.

"Becca, this has been going on for what, almost six months now and he hasn't figured it out yet. I don't think his little brain can muster up enough strength to think that hard." I said hoping down off the desk.

"Ashley, you know this has been great but, it has to end." She said getting up.

"Where are you going, Doc? We still have 10 minutes left." I said grabbing her hand and pulling her back. I grab the back of her neck pulling her into a deep kiss.

"Ashley," she pleads breaking the kiss. I wasn't listening. I was too focused on what I wanted to do to her, again. I pulled her back into me kissing her jaw line then over to her neck sucking on her pulse point. "Ashley, I can't." she says pulling away from me. Are you kidding me? We were just going at it like 5 minutes ago, now you can't.

"What's wrong?" I ask not really caring just hoping she would tell me so I could get back to what I was doing or was about to do.

"I have another client coming in 5 minutes. You should go." She said wiping the smeared lipstick from below her lip.

"Fine." I said in defeat. "Call me if you change your mind." I added as I was leaving the room. I walked out into the waiting area where her receptionist was giving me a really dirty look. Bitch. She's like the only one that knew about Rebbecca and I. probably because she heard all the screaming and moaning and name calling and figured we couldn't have been talking about my problems. Whatever. She won't tell anyone. She was way too afraid of me.

I walked into the parking lot about to get in my car when I got a text. I took my phone out of my pocket and read it. It was Kyla; she wanted to know if I could pick her up from school. I texted her back, yeah. I mean I had nothing else to do today. Might as well. I got in my car and drove to her school. I got there about 10 minutes before they actually let out so I just sat in the car and waited. I listened to my The Fray CD while I waited.

There they are. Damn there are a lot of cute people at this High School. Maybe I should have gone here. "Hey Ash," Kyla yelled as she waved and ran over to me.

"Hey big head how was school?" I asked opening the door and getting inside.

"Cool, seniors don't really do much this time of year." She replied doing the same. Even though I was only three months older than her, I still treated her like a LITTLE sister. "Hey Ash, can my friend Spencer come over?" she asked me as I was putting the car in gear.

"I don't care why are you asking me?"

"Because mom and dad are both working late, Aubrey has a date and Adrian is staying with some friends all week, so mom said to ask you because you would have to put up with us." She said as I pulled out of the parking lot. Damn why do I have to be the only one with no life.

"Fine with me."

"Okay thanks, I'll just text her and tell her to come by." she said whipping out her phone.

We pulled into the driveway and sure enough no cars were in it, telling me no one was home. Great.

"So shall I order out?" I asked Kyla as I put my key in the door to unlock it.

"Chinese." she suggested.

"Okay." I said as we both made our way into the house.

"I'm going to go upstairs and shower and stuff could you just let her in when she gets here please?"

"Yeah Ky, I can do that." I said as she ran up the stairs and I went into the kitchen to order us some take out. 15 minutes later there was a knock on the door. I'm guessing that's her...

I got up off the couch and ran to the door and opened it. Holy shit. Before me stood a blond haired blue eyed goddess. Fuck, say something Ashley or she's going to think you're retarded. Shit, my mouth won't open; my throat is dry all of a sudden. Oh God... I can't breathe.

"Um, are you going to let me in?" She asked smiling. Oh fuck I just melted. Her smile is... indescribable. I couldn't speak so I shook my head and moved aside to let her in. What the fuck. I'm usually so calm and cool around girls, I mean seriously I've been with women old enough to be my mother and I'm swooning over some fucking high school chick?

Get it together Davies, and fast. Thank God Kyla is out the shower and on her way down here.

"Spencer," she said running down the stairs. Hair still wet. "You can come on up." She added turning around and walking back up.

"Well it was nice meeting you..." she stopped and I realized I never told her my name.

"Ash." I said, barely audible.

"Well, Ash it was nice talking to you. We should do it again sometime." She said running up the stairs behind Kyla. Wait was she being sarcastic? I think she was. I'm the only one that gets to be sarcastic around her dammit. I can't believe that just happen. What the hell, when did I turn into a pussy who doesn't know how to talk to girls. Whatever. It was a onetime thing and it'll never happen again.

The doorbell is ringing. Probably the delivery guy. I grab a $20 from my bag and go to the door to pay the guy. Awesome, I'm starving. I go upstairs to tell them that the food is here. I knock and get a come in.

"Hey, just wanted to let you guys know the food's here." I said opening the door slightly, and poking my head in.

"Cool, I'll go fix us some Spence." Kyla said getting up from the bed where they were laying down listening to music and talking about God knows what, and runs past me, leaving us alone. AWKWARD.

"Um..." I start. What the hell Davies. Okay shake it off. Cool, calm and collected.

"Are you okay?" she asked, smiling at me. NO!

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say not knowing why she asked me that.

"Oh okay, you just look a little I don't know, perturbed." She said sitting up on the bed. Okay what the fuck is up with her vocabulary? Perturbed? I don't look 'perturbed', do I? Oh God.

"No, I'm fine. I should go."

"You don't really want to you just feel awkward and nervous. I can tell because you can't stand still and you're fidgeting with your hands." she said smiling the entire time. Okay, like really what the fuck. I don't need any more fucking therapy, we all know where those sessions ended up going. And is she like in my mind or something. Get out of my mind hot blond girl.

"That's not it. I just I uh... I have to go make a call." I said realizing how dumb it sounded but was the only thing I could think of at the time.

"A call?" She asked raising an eyebrow as though she didn't believe me.

"Yes really." I said hoping my voice wasn't shaking as much as my hands were.

"Okay." She said simply.

"Okay." I said mimicking her.

"Well it was nice talking to you again. Definitely should do it again sometime." She said with a smirk. There goes that damn sarcasm again.

"Yeah," I managed to say before practically bolting out of the room. I shut the door behind me and leaned up against it, I felt like I might faint or something. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Wow, she's so hot. I thought to myself.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kyla asked standing in front of me with two plates of food in her hands.

My eyes shot open.

"Um... I was just leaving." I said regaining my balance and running down the stairs to the kitchen.

I sat down at the table with my food. I smiled to myself thinking how much of an ass I just made of myself. I Never knew a girl could have this affect on me...


	3. The Party, The Ex, and The Talk

**Chapter 3**

**Friday April 6th**

"Okay honey, so your father and I are going to be gone the entire weekend, no parties and no girl company okay." She said kissing me on my forehead, opening the front door.

"Mom, seriously, what if Gabby wants to come over?" Gabby's my best friend, but we hook up sometimes. She's straight though, well at least she says she is. I'm the only girl she's ever been with, and the only girl she will ever be with according to her. "What about my girlfriend what if she wants to come over?"

"Ashley sweetie, you don't have a girlfriend." Damn her for knowing me so well. "Look Gabby and Aiden can come over but that's it. And I think Kyla is having company. Spencer I think." she said kissing me again and leaving out the door. My brother and sister are out with friends, which is usually what they do on Friday's. Wait what? Spencer is coming? Shit!

**7:30p.m**

"Kyla." I yelled up the stairs.

"What?" She asked walking to the stairs and leaning over.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. Pizza I guess."

"Okay." I yelled up to her then went in the kitchen to order it. Gabby and Aiden are coming over so I ordered to large chesses and a beef and black olives.

"Can I borrow your car to go pick up Spencer?" Kyla asked running into the kitchen.

"No way, take the jeep." I said getting up from the table and going into the living room.

"Come on Ash, your car is cooler." She insisted.

"I don't care Kyla; you're not taking my car." I assured her.

"Fine," she said in defeat.

"Wait why can't she bring herself?" I asked.

"She doesn't have a car, she's getting one for her 17th birthday next month." she told me walking into the kitchen to grab the keys to the jeep.

"So you're hanging out with underclassmen now?" I asked chaffing.

"Actually she's a senior, she skipped a grade." That explains a lot.

"Whatever." I said not knowing what else to say.

"Later." She said walking out the door. So she's like some freaky genius girl like Gabriella off High school musical.

Doorbell. Pizza guy. I paid him and took the pizza in the kitchen. I got a text from Gabby. _'We're outside turd, come open the door. And I see you bought pizza. Thanks because I was starving.'_ I run to the front door to let them in.

"So are we having a party or what?" Aiden asked walking in behind Gabby.

"Can't, mom said no parties. I told him shutting the door behind them.

"Since when do you listen to your parents?" Gabby asked flopping down on the couch.

"Since my birthday is in three months and I want a party." I told them sitting down in the recliner.

"Dude, they won't care. Stop being a lame." Aiden barked.

"Shut up." I said throwing a pillow at him, then getting up to go in the kitchen.

"Come on, I want to parrrrtay!" he said jumping up and following me.

"Well go partay at your own house."

"I would but the 'rents are home all weekend." he explained grabbing a slice of pizza out of the box.

"I don't know, if my parents find out, I'm done for." Damn this peer pressure.

"Come on wuss." he joked taking a bite of his pizza.

"We'll totally help you clean up." Gabby assured me.

"Fine, but you guys better help me get this house back to exactly the way it is now." I told them.

"Awesome!" Aiden screeched. "I'm going to go make some phone calls." Aiden said running back into the living room.

"Don't go crazy." I yelled to him.

"I guess I should go to the store to pick up some things." I said grabbing my keys and my bag off the counter.

"Yeah, I'll go with you." Gabby said following me out the kitchen.

"We're going to the store, we'll be back." I told Aiden.

"Alright, I'll put all the breakables in your parents room." he said before getting back to his phone conversation. We left for the store.

**9:30 p.m**

"Man that took longer than planned." I said to Gabby as I was putting my key in the front door to open it. "What are you guys doing?" I asked Kyla. They were sitting down on the couch watching TV.

"What does it look like?" She asked rolling her eyes then turning back to the t.v.

"Why are you guys not up in your room?" I ask walking toward the kitchen to put the groceries down.

"Because we want to watch the flat screen." she said turning the channel. Wow Spencer looks good. And she's smiling at me. What's that all about?

"Fine go in mom and dad's room then, I'm about to have a party."

"Seriously? We're invited right?" She asked jumping up from the couch.

"Fine." I said knowing that if I told her no she might tell mom and dad on me just to spite me.

"Cool, I'm going to change." Kyla said running up the stairs leaving Spencer on the couch. I decided I would go talk to her.

Doorbell. Dammit. I go to the door. People are starting to arrive. I guess I'll just have to talk to her later. I go over to the stereo to get some music going.

**10:37 p.m**

She's standing in the corner with three guys surrounding her. I guess that's normal. She laughing and one of them is touching her shoulder. I guess she's straight. You know the saying someone is too fucking hot to be straight? Well she's way too sexy to be straight! Maybe I should just go over there and talk to her. Yeah, I think I will. I take a step toward her before being pulled back.

"What the hell?" I turn around and it's Taylor. Fucking great, who invited her. Taylor is my ex and let's just say, she has a hard time moving on. "What!" I ask annoyed with the whole situation.

"Hey, can we talk?" She asks. "About what Taylor, I told you we're over, and I meant it." I said sternly.

"Yeah, like last time, you meant it but we got back together."

Okay that was different I found out that she lied about her age; she told me she was 18 when she was really 15. She totally made me out to be some kind of pervert or something. On her 16th birthday she came crawling back to me and I gave in. What? She's good in bed. Anyway, it's not happening this time. Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm really serious about it this time. She can't control me with her evil powers anymore. Oh God it happened.

**11:03 p.m**

"Look, just leave me alone okay. Just get over me." I say pulling up my jeans. I know I'm bad but I told you I'm a sexual deviant. I can't help it. Maybe I should have talked to my therapist about that instead of screwing her. Oh well...

"Why do you do that?" She asked pulling her shirt down over her head.

"Do what?" I know exactly what she's talking about.

"Ashley, why can't you just be with me? Why are you trying to fight it?"

"Because you're sixteen, and annoying." I know that was harsh but shit, she is.

"Fine, but you'll be calling me." She said walking out the room. I never do. I go back downstairs to join the party. Dammit where did Spencer go?

I go into the kitchen to find her sitting at the table. Alone. Score! Perfect time to go talk to her.

I walk in and sit down across from her. "So why aren't you out there enjoying the party?" I asked. She's smiling. Why is she smiling?

"Parties aren't really my thing." Yeah right, you basically had every guy drooling over you.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed that." I said getting up and grabbing a wine cooler out of the fridge.

"You want one?" I offered, holding up the bottle so she would know what I was talking about.

"No thanks, I don't drink." Okay what the hell, what kind of person doesn't drink? I guess a super genius goddess. I rejoin her at the table.

**11:07 p.m**

"So why aren't you out there mingling?" she asked as I took a swig of my cooler.

"I just had a run in with my ex and I really don't feel like being bothered with anyone else." It's not a lie entirely.

"But yet you're talking to me?" she asked smiling. Good point.

"Yeah. So?" God what is it with me and forming sentences around this girl.

"So, where is she now?"

"Who?" I ask taking another swig of my drink.

"Your ex." she inquires. Wait, is she assuming that I'm gay; because I'm pretty sure I didn't tell her that. Or did I? uh...I'm pretty sure I didn't.

"How do you know it's a she?" I ask defensively.

"I'm guessing." Damn her and her accurate accusations.

"I don't know I guess she left after we talked." Yeah there was no talking going on whatsoever.

"Oh, talked huh?" What the hell is that supposed to mean.

"Yeah." I said. Now that's a lie entirely.

"Oh, it's just that I saw you go up stairs with her, over a half hour ago and I just assumed..." she started. Who the hell does she think she is assuming things? Wait was she watching me? "Must have been a really interesting conversation." she said smiling.

"Yeah as a matter of fact it was." I retorted.

"Okay." She said simply.

"Okay." I said back. She smiled then got up from the table and went back into the party. Damn me and my smart mouth.


	4. A Long Night

**Chapter 4**

**12:01 A.m**

I sat in the kitchen for like an hour thinking about how I'd made an ass out of myself, again. Then decided I wanted all these people to get the hell out of my house so I could go to sleep. I went out and told everyone the party was over and to get the fuck out. After a few minutes of moaning and groaning every left. Shit this house is a mess. Gabby and Aiden better help me clean this shit up.

"Where were you all night?" Gabby asked picking up a bottle and putting it into a bag.

"Taylor was here." I stated simply knowing she would understand.

"Oh." she said getting back to picking up trash.

"Why can't we just leave this shit until tomorrow? I'm tired I want to go to sleep." Aiden said flopping down on the couch.

"Because the maid will be here in the morning and she'll tell my parents that I had a party." I said pushing his feet off the coffee table.

"Oh hell nawl, you guys have a maid? I'm not cleaning shit man, I'm going to bed." Aiden said getting up and walking up the stairs.

"Aiden you promised!" I yelled up to him but he just waved me off.

"What time does the maid come?" Gabby ask sitting the trash bag down. I know she's not trying to back out too.

"Oh come on!" I said, fed up with the pair of them.

"What? All I'm saying is I'm drunk and I want go to sleep so let's get up before the maid gets here to clean up." Fuck.

"Fine. Whatever."

**12:15 p.m**

Can't believe they both bailed on me when they promised. Once again, stuck by myself doing the clean up.

"I'll help you." What the fuck. I turn around and Spencer is standing at the bottom of the stairs. Was I thinking out loud just now? Shit.

"Um..." There goes my ability to speak again.

"I'll take that as an okay. I shook my head. She grabbed a trash bag and started helping. Fuck! This is going to be a long night.

**12:52 a.m**

It's been like a half hour and we haven't said a word to each other. Damn, maybe I should say something. "Um... thanks for helping me." I said, glancing over at her briefly.

"Yeah, no problem." I could hear her smiling. Why was she smiling?

"And um about earlier, I didn't mean to snap." I said realizing we we're basically done cleaning.

"It's cool. I understand you were having a rough night."

How could she know that? I didn't tell her that. There she goes with the accusations again.

"Yeah." I said simply.

"So, I guess we're about done here. Need help with anything else?"

She asked placing the trash bag full of empty cups and beer bottles down.

"No, I think we're good." I said placing my bag next to hers.

"Well goodnight then. I guess I'll see you in the morning." She said turning to walk up the stairs.

"It's already morning," I stated smiling. She turned around and smiled before running up the stairs to Kyla's room. I smiled to myself then grabbed both bags and took the outside to put them next to the street. I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

**Saturday April 7th 5:48 p.m**

"What are we doing tonight?" Kyla said flopping down next to me on the couch.

"Uh, we're not doing anything. I have company and so do you." I said turning the channel.

"What do you mean? We always hang out on Saturdays." She whined.

"My point exactly, let's takes a break. One Saturday away from each other."

"No, I don't wanna." She protested. She could act like a real baby sometimes.

"Okay. Where do you want to go?" I asked turning off the TV and looking at her.

"Well Spencer wants to go to the movies so can we do that?" Since when does Spencer dictate my life? Maybe we should go bowling just because she wants to go to the movies.

"Okay. I'll go let Gabby and Aiden know. Be ready in a half our or I'm leaving without you guys." I yelled to her as she ran up the stairs.

I went down to the den. "Yo, we're going to the movies, you guys in?" I ask walking over to them. They were playing air hockey.

"Yeah, I'm down." Aiden piped up first.

"Cool." Gabby followed. As always.

"Okay, we're leaving in a half hour so go get ready." I said walking back towards the stairs. Neither of them moved.

"Guys..." I started.

"We'll be up in a sec, let us just finish this game. I'm kicking Gabs ass." Aiden said enthusiastically.

"That's cause you're cheating." Gabby yelled jokingly.

"No, come on now." I tried. Neither of them moved. I ran walked over to the table pretending to be interested in their game, grabbed the puck and ran up the stairs, of course being chased by both. Hey, at least I got them to stop playing.

**6:15 p.m**

"Kyla if you are not down these steps in 5 seconds I am leaving without you." I yelled up the stairs.

"God, okay I'm coming." She said running down the stairs, Spencer close behind. Wow she looks good.

"Bout damn time." I said pretending to be angry. Well I kinda was. Okay I wasn't but, she didn't need to know that.

"Sorry, gosh, looking good takes time you know." she said smiling and walking past me. Spencer behind her.

"Lets go Ash." she said standing in the doorway. Must've drifted into heaven just now. We walked out and hoped in my car. Gabby and Aiden took his car. 15 minutes later we're at the movie theater. Spencer sat next to me in the movie occasionally touching shoulders with me and grazing my hand with hers.

**8:37 p.m**

After the movie we went to Applebee's. My favorite place in the world. Once again Spencer sat next to me. I think she's doing this on purpose. During dinner I got a text from Josie saying she wanted to see me tonight. I texted her that I would be over around eleven. Her parents were never home so it was easy for me to just go over any time I wanted. After dinner we all went back to the house.

**10:00p.m**

"So what are we doing for the rest of the night?" Gabby ask as we are walking into the house.

"I have to go upstairs, shower and change. Not sure what you guys are doing." I said walking towards the stairs.

"Hot date?" Kyla asks me smiling.

"Yeah." I manage to say before running up the stairs to my room. Even though its not a date its more like a pleasure call. Lol. Half hour later I'm out the door and on my way to Josie's, God knows I need some with all the teasing Spencer was doing tonight.


	5. Hot Date

**Chapter 5**

**10:42 p.m**

"So your sister's gay?" Spencer asked Kyla sitting down on the bed. Kyla was in the bathroom brushing her teeth.

"Uh, bi actually. Why?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing just... nothing." Spencer said sounding nervous.

Kyla rinsed out her mouth then joined Spencer on the bed. "You wouldn't have asked if it was nothing." Kyla said pulling the covers back.

"Does she go out on 'hot date's' often?" Spencer asked joining Kyla at the top of the bed.

"She probably doesn't even have a date. She's probably just going over one of her many girl toy's house." Kyla said jokingly. Spencer grew quiet. "OMG! Please, please tell me you don't like her?" Kyla said really hoping she was right. Spencer didn't say anything. "You so do. Spence, no offense to my sister or whatever because I love her and everything but she's kind of a slut. Like she'll fuck anything with a pussy, seriously."

"I didn't say I liked her. I just..." Spencer started.

"You just nothing! Look, my sister is and has never been good at relationships she'll just hurt you and you're my best friend I don't want to see you get hurt." Kyla said getting under the covers and grabbing the remote off the nightstand. "Please tell me you won't go there." Kyla begged.

"Yeah, I promise." Spencer said joining Kyla under the covers. Kyla turned on the t.v.

**Josie's house 11:01 p.m**

"What took you so long?" Josie asked me as I entered her house.

"I'm a minute late Josie, calm down." Fuck this girl is needier than I am.

"Where are your parents this weekend?" I asked as she led me up the stairs to her room.

"I don't know. With family in Chicago I think." She said as we got to her room.

"How can you not know where your parents are?" I asked her taking a seat on her bed.

"I really don't care as long as they're not here." She said closing the door.

"Where's your brother?" Like I care. Why am I conversing with her, that's not what I came here for.

"Out," She said simply, walking over to me and taking off my jacket. She leaned forward and kissed me, hard. Now this is what I'm talking about. I laid back on the bed and she gets on top of me straddling me not breaking the kiss.

I sit up to take off my shirt. "Fuck" I yell in annoyance. Fucking shirt's too tight and I can't get it off. She helps me. Pulling it up and over my head. Then her own. She lays me back down reconnecting our lips in a lust filled kissed. Reaching one hand down in between us to unfasten my pants. She pulls them off and throws them on the side of the bed. I reach my hands behind her back to unclasp her bra, she breaks the kiss briefly to take it off and toss it to the side. She moves the kiss from my lips to my neck sucking on my pulse point. I'm so going to have a passion mark. She starts kissing a trail down my stomach and over my panties that are now soaked with my juices. She puts her fingers under the band of my underwear and pulls them down. She then takes off her pants and underwear and positions herself back between my legs.

She brings our lips together for another kiss before returning to my now uncovered soaked center. She takes one long lick and I moan loudly. She is now circling my clit with her tongue driving me insane.

"Oh Fuck," I moan aloud. She looks up at me, smiles then placing her head back down between my legs. This time putting her tongue all the way inside me. She thrust it inside me slowly, stroking my inner walls. I'm finding it hard to breathe at this point. I pull her head up so that we are now face to face. I kiss her intensely tasting myself on her tongue. She breaks the kiss.

"What is it?" she asks because I usually let her go until I cum. But I needed to feel her fingers inside me. Tongue wouldn't cut it tonight.

I grab her hand and place it between my legs without saying a word and she knew. She slowly strokes my opening never actually going inside and I'm going crazy because I need to feel her inside me. She finally puts a finger inside me and I moan into mouth. She pulls out. Fuck! Stop teasing me girl. She circles my clit with her thumb and now I'm about over the edge. I could feel my orgasm building and I'm sure she could too.

"I need to feel you inside me." I say breathlessly. She puts two fingers inside me and a small whimper escapes my lips. She strokes my wall slowly at first but I couldn't take it. I lifted my hips into her fingers making them go deeper inside me. She takes the hint and starts to pump faster. My walls begin contracting around her fingers as she goes faster and harder. My body begins to shake as my orgasm rushes over me. She keeps going until my orgasm concludes. My breathing evens out and she pulls her fingers out and lays down beside me.

"Fuck, that was great." I breathe out.

"Yeah?" She says like she doesn't believe me.

"Yeah." I say getting up searching for my things. I wasn't planning on cuddling or anything afterwards.

"Where are you going?" She asks. She knows I don't do the whole sleepover thing. I don't even know why she's pretending otherwise.

"Got to get home. I have company." Thats not really the reason but it sounds nicer.

"Oh," She says simply.

"I'll call you." I say pulling up my jeans, which is a total lie.

"Okay." She smiles.

"Okay." I repeat pulling my shirt down over my head and putting on my jacket. Now what the hell did I do with my keys? She grabs them off the nightstand and tosses them to me. Was I thinking out loud again? I catch them walk over to her and place a kiss on her forehead (What? I'm not a completely terrible person) before walking downstairs and out the door.

I got in the house around midnight. When I got home everyone was asleep. Pussies. Can't stay up past midnight. I took a shower and joined everyone else. I wasn't sleepy though. I just didn't want to be the only one up with nothing to do.

**Sunday 10:42 a.m**

I open my eyes to see Gabby and Aiden standing over me. "What the hell?" I ask rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Late night?" Aiden ask flopping down on the bed next to me. Everyone knows I don't get up before noon the weekend.

"Is there a reason why you two are in my room bothering me this early in the morning?" I ask extremely annoyed.

"We want to go to breakfast." Gabby says sitting down next to Aiden. Why the hell are they telling me this. Aiden has a car.

"So go." I say turning over and burying my face in my pillow. Why couldn't they just take the hint and leave.

"We want everyone in the house to go." She says pulling the covers off me. Oh hell no. Now I'm pissed and cold.

"What!" I yelled.

"We want everyone to go." she repeats.

"Fine, I'm up geez." Can't even get sleep in my own house.

"Ah stop whining, I'm paying." Aiden said getting up.

"Good." I got up and went into the bathroom to freshen up and get dressed. Wait. Did she say the entire house. Please don't let Spencer be going I can't deal with all the teasing she's doing right now.

**I-Hop 11:30 a.m:**

Of course Spencer came. Why wouldn't she. And she's sitting next to me again. Something is weird between her and Kyla right now, they keep giving each other crazy looks. Whatever. I just wish she'd move away from me and stop playing these touchy feely games with me. 'Accidentally' rubbing her leg up against mines under the table and putting her hand on my knee. She hasn't looked at me once though. Every time I try to catch her eyes to read them and see what's really going on in her head, she turns away. Figures. Can't take this anymore. I get up and walk outside. Shit I need a drink of something right now. Something strong.

A few minutes later Gabby comes outside. "Whats up with you." She ask sitting down on the bench next to me. I shake my head not really wanting to talk about it. There's nothing to say really. Spencer is playing childish bullshit games with me, and my emotions. She's not even gay. "It has to be something, you're acting weird." How am I acting weird. I think I'm acting like my normal ol' self.

"It's nothing really." I assure her. She stares at me. What the fuck is this? She thinks she can see through to my soul or something? Sometimes I don't think I have one.

"Okay," she says finally, getting up off the bench and walking back towards the restaurant doors.

"You coming?" She asked stopping and looking back at me. I get up.

"Yeah I'm coming." We go back inside to join everyone else. I sit as far away from Spencer as possible.


	6. Girls, Girls, Girls

**Chapter 6  
**

**1:49 p.m**

We're back at the house watching t.v when I get a text. "Can we meet up to talk somewhere?" It was a text from Callie a girl I met at a friends party. We slept together and that was good enough for me but no she wanted more... Why can't people just understand, I DON'T do relationships. How hard is that to grasp.

"For what?" I text back.

"I just want to see you." I look through my phone find a picture and send it to her. Mean, I know.

"There you go." I text.

"Ashley come on, don't be like that. It'll be quick I promise." No. I'm not going. Not gonna happen. She's says it'll be quick then she'll start talking about her feelings and I'm not completely heartless so I'll be compelled to stay and It's just not happening. I'm so serious this time. I wont go. Nope. God, I'm such a sucker.

**2:22 p.m**

Like I said, I'm here and she's talking about her feelings and I think I'm going to die. Okay I'm not going to die but I might slip into a coma, she's boring me half way to death. What is it with girls and feelings and the need to express them constantly. Why can't we just say how we feel and be done with it. Don't tell me how you feel then explain to me why you feel that way then explain why you feel the way you feel when you feel it and why and how and who made you feel that way. OMG! So annoying.

"Look, I told you when we met Callie I wasn't looking for a relationship just a one night thing." I'm pretty sure I said that.

"I know but, I thought maybe..." She started. See thats her first problem right there. "you were just saying that." Why would I just say that to say it. What sense does that make.

"Okay look Callie, I think you're a really cool girl in all, I'm just not a relationship person." I tried to explain to her. Please let her understand because I need to leave right now. I kinda have a date in a few hours. Well I wouldn't really call it a date because a date would mean I might want more than just sex and I don't.

"Maybe I can change that for you." Okay what part of this is she not getting?

"Okay, look I'll call you later and we'll talk about it." Lie. "Maybe you're right." Another lie. "But I really have to go right now, I have to go get my sister from her friend's house and she'll get mad if I'm late." Three times a lie.

"Okay, but you promise you'll call?" God I just said I would didn't I. Let me leave already.

"Yeah." Still lying.

"Okay." Finally. I get in my car and drive away as fast as I can before she thinks of any more feelings she wants to share. I go home and get ready for my non date which was at five.

Text message. What the hell. Its Rebecca. Yes my therapist. 'Can you come by my house around nine.' Hell yeah I can.

"For what?" I text back.

'Rob is out of town.' I read. I knew she'd call, well text, whatever I knew she wasn't over me, so to speak.

'Yeah I think I can do that.' I text her back trying not to sound too excited. Which I wasn't whatever. Okay maybe I was a little. It's been a whole week since I'd been with her. I must admit I kind of missed her. Well, The sex part. Just for clarification. Not like I was in love with her or anything. Which, I'm not. And I have no idea why I'm being so defensive. I finish getting ready for my non date. I call her up and tell her that we should meet up earlier; I needed time to come back home and shower before going over to Rebecca's house. She agreed. Okay, I'm off to my non date.

**Sunday 6:42 p.m**

"So why did you need to meet up earlier?" She asks me as we are walking into her house. We went to dinner which is something that I normally don't do on a non date but she was hungry and so was I so...whatever

"I have something else to do later." Or someone rather.

I'm so bad.

"Oh," She says simply. Whats with all the small talk? We talked enough at dinner.

"So," I start but before I even get my words out her lips are crashing onto mines. She leads me up the stairs to her bedroom and I know whats about to go down.

She lays down on the bed and scoots up toward the head board. I rip off my shirt and join her on the bed. I crawl up to her and attack her lips with mines. All while I'm kissing her the only person I can think about is Spencer. I stop kissing her for a second and shook the thoughts of Spencer out of my head before attacking her lips again. She sits up to take of her shirt. I reach behind her and help her take off her bra and I quickly do the same.

Shit! I can't get Spencer out of my head. She lays back pulling me down into a kiss. She flips us over so that she is now on top, without breaking the kiss. She begins sucking my neck, the same spot that Josie was attacking last night. I'm definitely going to have a bruise now. A small moan escapes my lips.

She begins kissing a trail down my body until she reaches my center. Why do I even bother to put on clothes? They're just going to come right back off. She places small kisses to my center through my jeans then bites me. I moan aloud. She unbuttons my pants and takes the zipper down with her teeth before pulling them off followed by my underwear. She places more small kisses to my now naked center.

"Spencer," I breathe out quickly realizing that was the wrong name. Shit! Never done that before. She looks up at me. "I'm sorry." I say apologetic.

"Who the fuck is Spencer?" She ask sitting up and reaching for her shirt on the floor. Dammit I blew it.

"She's no one. What are you doing?" Maybe I should be getting dressed too in case she tries to kick me out.

"I'm getting dressed. And if she's no one why are you calling out her name." Yep time for me to get dressed.

"She's just some girl", I say getting up and starting to get dressed.

"What is this Ashley, what are we?" What the fuck is this? We've been on one non-date and she thinks we're together.

"Uh, we're having sex." Maybe that wasn't the best answer.

"Maybe you should go." Yep, wrong answer.

"Angie, you can't be serious." I say pulling my shirt down over my head. I thought we were on the same level, dinner then sex. She's lucky, others don't even get dinner.

"This was a mistake, you know I heard stuff about you and my friends were telling me that you were bad news but I wanted to give you a chance." What the fuck is this? The grant a wish foundation. I'm not changing for anyone you can forget that." But you're exactly what they say you are." What is that exactly? charming, good in bed, beautiful? "A slut." Ouch, low blow. I don't think I've ever been called a slut to my face before, she's got balls. Time for me to go.

I leave and go back home to shower so Becca wouldn't smell her on me.

**8:43 p.m**

I'm in the car on my way to Becca's when I get a text. Of course its from Callie. "I thought you were going to call" It read.

"Um, I am I'm with family right now though so let me just hit you back a little later." There goes the lies again.

"Okay." She is so naive its almost sickening.

**8:56 p.m**

I'm sitting in front of Becca's house not really sure whats going on. All I can think about is Spencer. Her smile. Her excessive need to use ridiculously big words when there is absolutely no need for them. The scar right below her left knee, probably from falling off a bike or something when she was younger. Holy crap snap out of it Davies, you sound like a love sick puppy. Its pathetic. Maybe I should talk to Rebbecca about it, I mean after all she is a therapist.

I get out the car finally and walk up to the door to knock, before I even raised my hand to knock I was pulled in by her and she starts going to town on my mouth. Odd as it my sound, I'm actually not even in the mood to have sex.

"Becca wait," I say pulling back from her. She looks pissed.

"What is it? Whats wrong?" This chick name Spencer is screwing with my emotions and I don't know what to do.

"Nothing I just, I'm not really in the mood." I say sitting down on the couch.

"What! Why did you come over then?" She ask practically yelling at me. Man, she's feisty when she's horny.

"Can we just like talk for a change?" I really really could use some therapizing right now. I so totally know that's not a word but its the word I'm going to use okay. She sighs and takes a seat across from me on the love seat. Why do they call it that? I've always wondered.

"What do you want to talk about?" Spencer.

"I don't know." I said sitting back.

"So you want to talk but you don't know what about?" I know I sound really dumb right now but I'm having a hard time with this. I never felt this way about a girl before.

"Well I met this girl name Spencer the other day and I can't seem to get her out of my head." Wow that sounded lame didn't it.

"Is she the one that put that gigantic mark on your neck?" She asks smiling at me.

"No." I say simply, not wanting to go deeper into that.

"You're blowing off sex with me to talk about some chick you just met." She jokes.

"Okay, so not helping," I joke back.

"Okay sorry. What about it? Do you like this girl?" What kind of question is that. I like all girls. That's why I try to sleep with as many as I can.

"I don't know." I say as she gets up and comes to sit next to me.

"What do you mean you don't know. Do you like her yes or no, it's simple." No its not. Its hard. Very very hard.

"I guess." I say finally. What? I don't want to seem to vulnerable.

"Okay, what do you feel when you're around her; happy, angry, sad. What emotions run through you when you're in her presence?" She makes me happy when she smiles, angry when she plays games with me and sad when I realize she's straight and it can never happen.

"I don't know." What? I don't.

"Okay, so I can't help you if you won't let me in." In what? My head. Can't go there with you doc. No one gets inside my head. No one. "You know what I've always wanted to talk to you about." she starts.

"No what?" I asked.

"Why you don't do relationships. Is it intimacy issues, fear of commitment? What is it?" Okay definitely not going there.

"Can't go there." Never told anyone, not going to start now.

"Come on, maybe if you tell me I can help you get through and maybe you'll be able to change." Yeah seriously doubt that but hey I guess it can't hurt to try.

"When I was eleven I had my first time with a girl who just so happened to be my best friend too. We were together for about 2 years before she ended it without telling me why and then ignored me for the rest of our 8th grade year. She pretended like nothing ever happened. Like we were never even best friends. I told myself I would never ever put myself in a predicament where someone could hurt me ever again." The worst year of my life. She later told me that she wasn't gay and we were a mistake. Isn't that what they all say.

"So you have a fear of being hurt again." Duh, didn't I just say that.

"Yeah." Can't believe I just told her that.

"That's normal you know. We all have that fear, whether we express it or not its always in the back of our minds but if you don't give love a chance then you'll never experience all the pleasures that come with it. There will be pains but whats pleasure without pain." Good point doc. Wow she really is a Psychiatrist. Who knew!

"I guess." I don't want to sound to awed. "I think I should get going. My parents will be home anytime and they'll ask questions and I hate lying to them so." I really do.

"I understand. Well I guess I'll see you around. And remember don't be afraid of love and happiness, embody them." Yeah okay doc. Enough with the therapy already. I leave and go home. Wow what a night.


	7. The Kitchen, Not Just For Cooking?

**Chapter 7**

**Wednesday April 11th 9:45 a.m**

I walk down the stairs to see Kyla and Spencer sitting on the couch watching t.v. What the hell, aren't they supposed to be at school or something. "What are you doing here?" I ask walking into the living room.

"Senior skip day." Since when is Senior skip day on a damn Wednesday?

"Does mom and dad know you're skipping?" Dumb question.

"No, are you going to tell?" And why exactly would I do that. I'm not a lame you know.

"No." I say and then walk into the kitchen. Greatest thing about having parents who are workaholics is they're never home so you can skip school anytime you want. I know I did.

Great Aubrey's home. Here comes the bitching. "Did you drink my soda?" Okay that was so last week.

"No," I say reaching into the fridge and pulling out the milk. I grab the cereal out of the cabinet then sit down at the table.

"I know you drank it Ashley, stop lying." Then why even ask? "What about my cookies did you eat those?" That was yesterday.

"Yep. But in my defense they had no name on them." They didn't.

"They were in my room." Okay so they were in her room, I wanted some Oreo's and I didn't feel like going to the store. Sue me.

"I'll buy you some more cookies, damn." Seriously, it's not that serious. Calm down.

"Thats not the point Ashley, you need to learn how to respect other peoples stuff." I do respect it, thats why I take it.

"Alright fine, gosh." I start on my cereal. Please go away and let me eat in peace.

"I'm so sick of this. I'm moving." Praise all that is holy. Thats all I've ever wanted.

"Awe really?" Like I really care.

"Don't pretend like you care." Okay. She storms out of the kitchen as usual. Now I can get back to my cereal. Here comes Spencer. Can I please just eat my pops without being bothered? Is that too much to ask for? What does she want anyway. I'm not really in the mood for any of her games.

"Hey." Why are you sitting down, don't sit down.

"Hi," I say getting up and putting the milk back in the fridge. She's staring at me. Why is she staring at me? Oh no, my neck. I instantly cover it up. Wait, why am I hiding it. Its not like she's my girlfriend or anything. "What do you want Spencer?" I think that might have come out a little harsher than intended.

"I wanted to talk to you." She said getting up and walking over to me. What could you possibly want to talk to me about?

"So talk." Okay, maybe I am being a little too hard on the girl. She shouldn't be playing with my emotions.

"Okay." She is extremely close to me right now. And I can't breathe. Why does she have to stand so close? Okay, why is she backing me into the refrigerator. She leans close and whispers in my ear. "I like you... but I'm straight." Story of my life. Where have I heard that before? Oh right, Gabby and every other chick thats straight until she's not.

"You can't want me." Okay shut up Ashley. She's so innocent and sweet, I can't take advantage of her.

"And why is that?" She ask still extremely close to me. I can feel her breath on my neck.

"Because, I don't want to hurt you." Did I just say that out loud. Dammit.

"I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." She whispers into my ear. I'm sure you can but you've never experienced the force known as Ashley Davies.

"You're straight." Until you're gay.

"Yeah so? I heard that sexual orientation doesn't matter to you." Where in the hell did you hear that from. Its true but, you shouldn't know that.

"What do you want from me?" I ask finally. I really don't know. Honestly I don't.

"I don't want anything FROM you." Okay what does that mean. And why am I still backed into the fridge.

"Um..." Dammit. There goes my speech again.

"Spencer what the hell is taking you so lo..." Kyla stops dead in her tracks when she sees us. "What the fuck is this?" She's never been one to hold her tongue. Spencer pulled back letting me out of her hold and I jetted upstairs. What? That was intense and weird and scary and a bunch of other things.

"What the hell was that?" Kyla asked Spencer walking over to her.

"She was blocking the fridge.".

**Friday April 13th 3:13 p.m**

I'm sitting outside of Kyla's school waiting for her to get out. We usually go out every Saturday but I have other plans so I decided to take her today. There she is. Wait who is that with her. Shit its Spencer. I didn't prepare for this. I pull down my visor and fix my hair and make sure there's nothing on my face before they get to the car.

"Hey sis." Kyla greets me opening the passenger door. "Is it okay, if Spencer comes along?" NO.

"Yeah sure." Why can't I escape this girl. They both get in the car and we're off to the movies. I buy the tickets and we go into the theater. Of course she has to sit next to me if only to play with my emotions. What is with this girl man?

**4:30 p.m**

The movie starts and I'm enjoying it until Kyla decides she wants to go to the bathroom. Fucking great. I'm not moving. I don't even think I'm breathing. I don't want her to touch me, but I do. But she's straight she made sure she told me that part. We're in the very back of the movie theater so no one can see us. Wait she wanted to come back here, is that why? Oh God what is that? I look down and her hand is on my leg. And its inching its way up. I had to wear a fucking skirt. I want to move her hand but I can't move, my body is not doing what my brain is telling it to do.

Shit. Shes getting closer. To what? What kind of question is that. Oh God she's there. I flinch a little but not because I want her to stop but because it feels good. She starts to massage my clit with her finger. I close my eyes and take it all in. I think I'm moaning. Hopefully not loud. What else was I supposed to do? She stops. Why did she stop, maybe Kyla came back. I don't dare open my eyes. She hasn't moved her hand, she just stopped moving it.

She sticks three fingers in me I think and I know this time the moan was loud. She starts moving in a out faster, I still can't look. Small whimpers escape my lips as she thrusts her fingers inside me faster and harder. Shit I can't breathe. Where's Kyla? My body starts shaking and I know its coming. She slows down. What the fuck is she doing. I grab her arm and make her go faster again. I still haven't opened my eyes. Hopefully she doesn't have hers closed too. I feel it. I'm close. Shit. I moan loud as hell and I'm sure people are looking back now, but I still don't open my eyes. I'm breathing hard and sweating a little.

I finally open my eyes, but I don't look at her just yet. There's Kyla. What took her so long? Oh, she bought snacks. She comes and sits back down. I look at Spencer. She's looking straight ahead, smiling. She won't look at me. I grab the popcorn from Kyla and continue watching the movie like it never happened.

**6:52 p.m**

"Spencer are you spending the night?" Kyla asks Spencer who's in the backseat reading a book.

"Only if you want me to." She says not looking up from her book. What? I'm looking through my rear view mirror. She's been avoiding eye contact with me since we left the movie.

"Of course I want you to."

"Then I guess I am." Shit!

I pull up in the driveway and get out hurriedly without saying anything. Kyla probably thinks I'm bugging out again. She needs to control her friend. I go up to my room and call Gabby.

"So she just like fingered you in the movie theater?" Gabby asks again not believing my story I guess.

"Yeah." I tell her again.

"And she claims she's straight?" Claims being the operative word.

"Yep." I answer.

"Wow. So what are you going to do?" About what?

"Huh?" I ask.

"Are you going to like go talk to her about it. I mean the girl claims she's straight but doing chicks..." She stops realizing our situation.

"Uh, Gabby..." I start.

"Shut up, you know what I mean. Look, maybe you should just go have a conversation with her and let her know that you're like a person with feelings and you don't like playing games. And obviously you've got something for the girl so just spill your guts already." But I don't like her, do I?

"Yeah I guess. I'll talk to you later okay?" I say

"Yeah okay bye. Don't do anything I won't do." We hang up.

I lay back on my bed thinking. I don't really like her do I? I don't like like anyone. I like having sex with people but I've never fallen for someone, at least not since...I always have a hard time saying her name. I haven't let myself fall for anyone since her, could I be falling for this girl. I shake the thought out of my head and call Josie. I definitely need to blow off some steam after the night I've had.


	8. Late Night Talks With Virgins

**Chapter 8  
**

**7:09 p.m**

"Hello?" Josie answers the phone.

"What are you doing right now?" I ask her hoping the answer was nothing.

"Baby sitting." Shit! So not what I was hoping for. She has a ten year old sister and a seven year old brother her parents put off on her often to go out.

"Shit!" I yell into the phone.

"Whats up?" What kind of question is that, she knows I only call her for one reason.

"Nothing, never mind." I say hanging up without waiting for her to respond. Fuck who can I call... Oh, I know... My thought was interrupted by someone knocking on my bedroom door. I get up and open the door. Oh my God. It's Spencer. I feel my heart starting to beat faster in my chest. She's smiling. Why is she smiling what does she want? I open my mouth to ask but nothing comes out.

"Hey, I know you're probably wondering what I want." Damn right. "I just came to talk to you about earlier. I know that I was out of line and I'm sorry, if I offended you in any way." No don't be sorry, because if you're sorry you didn't mean it and I need to mean it. I need you to like me.

"Its okay." Is all I could manage to get out.

"Okay good. So no rancorous feelings?" Huh? English please. I guess my facial expression said what my mind was thinking. "You're not mad at me?" Oh.

"No." Why would I be? Because you're playing with my heart and rubbing it in my face.

"Good. So I guess I'll be getting back or Kyla might come looking for me." I don't want you to go. Stop her Ashley, don't let her walk away. As she was turning to leave I grabbed her hand. She turns and looks at me. Do something. And fast. Without thinking I move toward her and I hesitate at first but then I... I kiss her. I can't believe shes kissing me back. Wait is this our first kiss. I think it is. IT IS! She's a great kisser. I rub my tongue across the bottom of her lip asking for permission to deepen the kiss and I'm glad when she accepts.

She's walking forward which means I'm walking backwards towards the bed. This is so not happening. I fall back onto the bed and she's on top of me with both legs on either side of my body straddling me. Wait my door is open, I can't have my parents or some one else walking in on us. It wasn't so hot the first time and I'm not up for that again. I move her off me and run over to shut the door and lock it.

I return to the bed. Now I'm on top of her. She's killing my lips right now, like she doesn't do this often. Don't get me wrong she's a GREAT kisser she's just an enthusiastic one so to speak.

I sit up to take my shirt off and continue letting her assault my lips. She reaches around my back and unclasps my bra and pulls it down from my shoulders. Everything seems to be going in slow motion at this point. I haven't felt this way since I was 13.

She turns us over so that she is now on top. She rips off her shirt and is now unbuttoning my pants. She's looking down at me and staring straight into my eyes. This is all too much for me. I'm used to meaningless sex and right now I feel like this means something. She means something. I don't want to, believe me I don't want to, but I stop her. I get up grab my shirt off the floor throw it back on and run out of the room and out the front door. Leaving her half naked on my bed.

I walking now, where I'm not really sure. I have no particular destination in mind all I know is that I can't be there, not with her. Why am I walking you ask? Well I kind of left my keys and my cell on my computer desk so I kind of have no choice.

I stop at the local park and just sit down. Its dark out now so no one's really here. What the hell did I just do. I left her. I left her half naked and confused on my bed. I started it. I could have let her go but no I had to kiss her. Shit. Now she probably isn't going to talk to me ever again. I wouldn't blame her. If she would have kept her blue eyes to herself we wouldn't be having this problem right now. I never look a girl in the eyes for more than three seconds while having sex. Its a dumb rule I know. But its a rule.

**7:42p.m**

"Ashley." What the hell? Someone is calling my name and it sounds like.

"Spencer. What are you..." I start.

"You left this," She holds up my keys and cell. "So I figured you couldn't have gone far." Good point. She comes and takes a seat down next to me on the bench. I look at my cell, six missed calls. Four from Gabby and two from Josie.

"What happened back there?" Dang it. I knew this question was coming.

"I..." My throat is dry.

"Ashley." She looks at me. Those damn blue eyes. I can't take them.

"You're not gay Spencer, I don't want to be just some experiment or something." Is that really the reason. For now it is.

"Is that what you think you are?" Duh. You tell me you're not gay so what else could I be.

"Yeah." I say simply.

"Ashley its not even like that." Then tell me how it is, please. Enlighten me. "I just, I've never done this before so I'm not sure what THIS is, you know." No actually I don't know. Wait, is she telling me that she is a...

"You don't mean that you're a virgin or anything right?" Please say you're not because I definitely can't handle that right now.

"I..." The look on her face right now is saying what her mouth won't. Was so NOT expecting that. A genius and a virgin. I'm screwed.

"I can't deal with this right now." Oops did not mean to say that out loud. I get up and she grabs me. I look down at her and I get lost in her gaze. I really can't handle this. I've know this girl for what a week and a half and I take one look at her and I'm a love sick puppy. This doesn't happen to me. I'm known for not caring about other people's feelings when it comes to sex and relationships, so why does she matter so much.

Buzzzzz. My cell vibrates. I look at it and its David calling. Can't deal with him right now. I''ll explain him later but right now, its about Spencer and how I can't take the way shes staring at me and hoping that I won't walk away from her because of the big bomb she just dropped on me.

"Spencer, this is all just too much. I can't." What can't I do exactly.

"I'm not asking you to." Wait what are we talking about?

"I really have to go." I don't really but this moment is too intense and I can't handle it.

"Don't please." Please don't beg me I don't take people begging me that well.

"I have to." I tell her again, hoping that she will take the hint and understand that this is too much for me right now and I need to leave. She lets go of my arm. I start to walk away but for some reason I feel extremely bad. I turn and look at her and she's crying. Fuck. Me and this new conscious I've grown in the past couple weeks. I walk back over to her.

"You coming?" I ask extending out my hand. "I can't leave you here by yourself, I wouldn't be able to take it if something happened to you on my account." Wait, what? She takes my hand and we head back to the house.

"You want to go and get some coffee or something?" What! What am I doing I don't want to go out for coffee I want to get as far away from her as possible. Not because I don't like her but because I do and I don't like anyone. I don't even like myself.

"Yeah, sure." Fucking great. We get in my car and drive to Starbucks. My second favorite place after Barnes and Nobles. Yes, thats right I said Barnes and Nobles. We pull into the Starbucks parking lot and all I can think is how I'm, actually going to have to talk to her about my feelings and thats also something I don't do.

**8:07p.m**

We go inside and take a seat in the booth in the corner. "What do you want?" I ask her and she just looks at me. Don't tell me she doesn't drink coffee either. Now the no alcohol thing I can see, but coffee, coffee is what fuels life. "Okay, I'll just get you my favorite drink. I go up to the counter and order two Carmel Frappuccino's. I take them back to the table and sit down across from her. Please don't let her talk let's just drink our coffee and enjoy this music that they're playing. Its Sara Bareilles. I love her.

She stops drinking her Frapp and I know she's about to say something. "I like you." Haven't we already been over this.

"I know." But you're straight. Straight girls date straight guys.

"What do you want from me?" What? I don't want anything. The question is what do you want from me.

"Nothing." Well maybe something. Nothing big though.

"So why can't we just..." she stops. I know what she wants to say.

"Because you're a virgin." That really is the reason. I don't do virgins. I have some standards you know. And plus you're playing with me and my emotions.

"So." So! What do you mean so. I am so not the right person to take any ones virginity.

"Look, I just don't do virgins okay." You'll thank me later. "And plus I'm not going to be some little experiment for a 16 year old girl who claims she's straight." That came out wrong. She looks down. I think I hurt her feelings. "I'm sorry, what I meant was, if you're not into girls then why are you trying to sleep with me?" Simple and straight to the point.

"Because I like you." Okay, we've definitely covered this already.

"I understand that, but I just, I can't be that one." The one that takes the most important thing away from you. The thing that if it doesn't go exactly the way you hoped it would, you'd want back. I wish I could have mines back. I wish I could go up to the guy that took it away and ask for it back.

"It's okay, I want you to." But I just can't.

"I can't I'm sorry. We should get back." This is getting intense again.

"Ashley..." Why does she always say my name like that. Like it kills her to say it. Like she's trying so hard to not say it.

"Spencer..." What? I felt like saying her name.

"I wanna kiss you." I want you to kiss me.

"I... we shouldn't. We should get back." I tell her again. I get up and walk out to my car. She soon follows. We get in the car and go back to the house. I get out first and try to practically run into the house. But she catches up with me before I can get inside the door fully and pulls me back outside.

"Spencer, I..." What the hell is this? She's kissing me. She kissing me like no one has ever kissed me before. We kissed for what seemed liked forever before she pulled away smiled a little then went inside. I wanted to go inside too, but my legs wouldn't move. My brain was frozen and I couldn't tell my legs to move. So I sat down on the porch.

What is with this chick man... I can't handle this. Bzzzzzzzz. I pull out my cell and I have a text from Spencer. Wait! I didn't have her number in my phone and how did she get my number? Maybe she called herself from my phone before she brought it to me earlier and programmed her number in my phone. Sneaky girl...

"Come upstairs please." Is what it read.

"Why?" I text back.

"Because I'm in your room waiting on you." Shit!

"Spencer, I can't." I told you, I don't do virgins.

"Please." Don't beg, please don't beg. What do I do? I'm so torn right now. I like her, which is something I don't normally do and I fear that if I make love to her I'll like her even more. Wait, did I just say make love? Oh hell no.

"I can't." I text as I get up and run to my car and pull off.

"Are you leaving?" I guess she heard me crank up the car.

"Yeah." I text back before turning off my phone. I can't talk to her anymore tonight. I've had enough intense conversations for one night.


	9. I'm Only One Person

**Chapter 9  
**

**10:42p.m**

I'm sitting in front of of Gabby's house. When I turned my phone back on I got like five calls from Spencer. And nine from Gabby. She said that she wanted me to come over. So here I am. Not sure if I want to go inside yet. I'm actually not really in the mood to have sex. I'm not even sure thats what she wants me to come over for. I'm just assuming. Bzzzzzzzz. Shit, who is it now. I look at my phone and I have a text from Kyla.

"Where are you?" It read.

"Gabby's." I texted back.

"Why did you leave?" Whats with all the questions.

"Why?" She's being too nosy.

"Spencer." Is all she said. Dammit.

"Ky, I didn't do anything, you know that right?" What did Spencer tell her.

"Ash, she's been crying for like the past hour and she won't tell me whats wrong." Shit. I didn't do this. I will not take the blame for this.

"That has nothing to do with me Ky." It doesn't!

"Ashley, she likes you. I told her not to like you but she does. I don't want to see her get hurt she's my best friend and she means a lot to me. You know that you're not good at NOT hurting people so just tell her that you're not interested and go your way." It's not that fucking simple Kyla.

"Kyla, I... its not what you think." I actually like this girl but I'm not telling her that.

"Then what is it Ash, please tell me because right now Spencer is here crying her eyes out while you're off fucking your best friend." I am not.

"Ky, I got to go I'll be home soon." Maybe.

"Whatever." She texted back. I don't have time for this. I have too much on my mind right now to be dealing with Kyla. I got out of the car and walked towards the door. Just as I was about to knock bzzzzzzzzzz. I look at my phone and its David calling. I sigh and answer it.

"What?" I yell into the receiver.

"Hello to you too Ashley." Whatever I don't feel like being nice right now.

"What do you want David?" I ask still yelling.

"Can you come over?" What does everyone want from me, I'm only one person you know.

"No." I say simply.

"Why not, I haven't seen you in like a month." So, that's usual don't act! Okay for those of you who are like who the fuck is David here's the answer. He an ex from high school 10th grade I think. He was totally cool with me being with him and other females at the same time so I tried to make it work with him but it just didn't happen. Anyway we occasionally fool around, but sex with guys is so blah... So we never really go all the way. But I have gone all the way with a guy before. More than one actually but I love being with girls WAY more.

"David, I'm busy. Call me Sunday I think I'm free around two or three." Lol.

"So I have to make an appointment to see you?" Ha ha.

"David I have to go." I hang up without waiting for an answer. I've been doing that a lot lately.

I knock on the door and Gabby answers. She grabs me and pulls me in and up to her room. I guess we are going to have sex. "What took you so long?" She asked shutting her door.

"I don't know." I'm torn between a female and MY morals.

"Ash are you okay?" She asks sitting down next to me. Maybe we aren't going to have sex.

"Gabby, I like her. I like her a lot." Shit, did I just say that.

"Then tell her that. Why are you so afraid to make a commitment to someone?" Why are you?

"I don't know." I haven't even told Gabby about the first girlfriend I ever had who broke my heart so she doesn't understand.

"Ashley, please for yourself. Tell the girl." Why does everyone think its that simple.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" I can't go home to Spencer and Kyla right now.

"Yeah." Gabby says going into her closet and grabbing me some night clothes to sleep in. I put them on then get in the bed. I fall asleep thinking about Spencer.

**Saturday April 14th 10:05 a.m**

I roll over and open my eyes to look at the clock. I roll over to my other side and Gabby's still asleep. I try to roll out of the bed without waking her but fail.

"Where are you going?" She asks opening her eyes.

"Sorry, I tried not to wake you. I'm meeting someone at noon so I thought I'd go home and get cleaned up."

"Oh. Who are you meeting?" She asks sitting up.

"Just someone." I don't really feel like going into details right now. I just want to get home and get cleaned up before Spencer and Kyla wake up.

"Ashley." What?

"Yeah?" I say kind of snappy. I really just want to leave.

"Never mind. Just go." She looks kind of sad or something like she has something heavy on her mind that she needs to talk about. But right now really isn't a good time for me.

"I'll call you later." I tell her before leaving and going home. When I get there Kyla and Spencer are still asleep so I try and hurry to get ready so I can get out before they do wake up.

I shower and put on some clothes and just as I'm heading out the door I hear someone calling my name. I'm tempted to not stop but I do anyway. I turn around and its Kyla.

"What?" I'm annoyed with everyone right now.

"Why didn't you come home last night?" Why are you all in my business?

"I slept over at Gabby's." Why am I explaining myself again?

"You slept over there or with her?" What? Since when is my sex life any of your business?

"Kyla..."

"Ashley, Spencer really likes you and I told you, I'm not going to let you hurt her. You can't keep going the way you're going." We love each other to death but last time I checked my mother's name was Christine.

"Kyla I don't have time for this right now, I have to meet someone at noon." And it is now 11:36a.m.

"This is what I'm talking about Ashley, why can't you just be with one person? What is so hard about that?" Why are we even going there?

"Kyla, she's straight! You do know that right! I'm not dipping my toes in her straight water. Just drop it."

"Ash." She starts but I cut her off.

"Seriously I have to go." I don't wait for an answer I just leave. I get in my car and drive to Carmella's. I met her through Aiden about three weeks ago and she called Thursday and asked me to come over. I pull up in her driveway, honked my horn and waited for her to come out. A few minutes later she comes running out.

"Hey," She says getting in the passenger side of my car.

"Hi." She looks amazing.

"So where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to lunch," I say pulling off. I pull up in the parking lot of the Sun Dial and we get out.

"Wow, I never been here before." I get that a lot.

"Glad I brought you then." We go in and we eat. After lunch I take her for a walk in Centennial Olympic park. I know what you're going to say but in my defense it's NOT something I normally do but it's a really nice day out so why waste indoors sulking.

"So," She starts. "Why is a gorgeous girl like you single?" Who said I was single. I guess because I agreed to this date she assumed I was single. I hope Aiden explained me to her.

"I don't really do relationships." I tell her as we take a seat on the bench.

"And why is that?" She is looking at me smiling. Spencer's always smiling even if there is nothing to smile about. Last night was the first time she wasn't smiling. Maybe I did hurt her. But she hurt me too. She says she wants me but she says she straight. I don't want to be with a straight person.

"I just... I don't" I say getting up. "You ready to go?" I ask.

"Sure." We walk back to the car and I take her home.

"I had a really fun time with you; we should do it again sometime." Probably not going to happen but okay. I mean she was cute and funny and I liked the time I spent with her today but if I was to do a relationship... I would want it to be with Spencer.

"Sure." I tell her so she would shut the door so I could go. She does. I leave and drive back home.

**3:16p.m**

I walk in the door and up to my room. Not even 10 minutes later there is a knock on my bedroom door. I tell them to come in. It's Spencer. She comes in and sits down on the couch across from my bed.

"Hi." She says looking at me then looking down shyly.

"Spencer." I need to see your eyes. She looks up and I melt... like the first time we met. I get up and go sit down next to her. She smiles that beautiful smile that no other person on this earths' smile can compare to.

"Ashley." I love the way she says my name. She looking directly into my eyes now and I don't think I can take it. I want to kiss her so badly.

"Spencer." She's moving closer to me. Our lips are so close I can feel her breath on mines. I can't take it. I close the distance and attack her lips with my own. She grabs the back of my head and pulls me on top of her. She starts to undress me. She lifts my shirt over my head then helps me take off my bra. I do the same to her.

I begin sucking on her pulse point and she moans into my ear. You just don't understand how bad I want her at this point. I kiss my way back to her lips kissing her intensely but passionately, before kissing a trail down to her stomach. When I reach her jeans I unbutton them and slide them down, then her underwear; she lifts her hips to help me.

I look up at her, straight into those gorgeous blue eyes of hers and I can't. Every part of me wants to, but I can't. I want my first time with her to be special. I want her very first time to be something she remembers forever not 'oh yeah, I lost my virginity on this chicks couch in her bedroom while her entire family were down stairs watching a movie.' I want it to be extra special. I stand up and she gives me a puzzled look.

"What is it?" She asks. I can't believe I'm turning down sex with her, again. What the hell is wrong with me!

"I can't do this." She gets up and starts putting on her clothes.

"Ash, did I do something wrong?" Hell no. You're perfect.

"No. I just... Spencer, I want your first time to be something you remember forever, I don't want it to go like this." I tell her honestly.

"Oh." Is all she says.

"Spencer I've never felt this way about someone before. I've never felt this way about sex before. Usually I don't care about anything but with you, I can't help but care." I'm baring my soul here. She looks at me with a small smile on her face.

"Ashley..." Spencer. Man, I think... I think I'm in love.

"Spencer I..." But before I could finish Kyla bursts in my room.

"Spencer, can I talk to you like now!" What the fuck. I was just about to bare my soul. Good thing Spencer and I got dressed.

"Kyla, can it wait? I'm kind of in the middle of something." Yeah really.

"No!" Damn you Kyla you're really making me mad today.

"Alright, just give me a second please." Yeah, scram.

"Fine I'll be waiting right here." I get up and shut my door back and lock it so I know she can't burst back in. Spencer gets up and walks toward me. She stops in front of me and kisses me hard. I'm not complaining. She pulls back.

"What are we?" Huh.

"I'm bi and you're straight." I don't think that's what she meant. That kiss has me confused.

"I want to be your girlfriend." What? You're straight remember.

"Spencer, I don't..." I start. She looks directly into my eyes and I can't refuse her. "Okay." I say simply.

"Okay what?" Please don't make me say it.

"Okay to what you just said." I say hoping she would just accept that.

"Ashley I need to hear you say it." Oh crap, I haven't said these words in eight years.

"Spencer, will you be my girlfriend?" Wow that sounds so weird coming from my mouth. She smiles and kisses me again.

"Yes." She says before reaching behind me unlocking the door and going out. I have a girlfriend. I have a fucking girlfriend.


	10. Bestfriends And Mixed Signals

**Chapter 10**

**Saturday 7:30p.m**

I call Gabby and I tell her I'm on my way, I promised her I would come back over there after my date. So were in her room on her bed talking.

"What are we doing tomorrow? What is Aiden doing?" I ask.

"He has a date with some chick he met at the party." Really? I didn't even see him talking to anyone.

"Oh." I'm thinking about Spencer right now. And how much I miss her and want to kiss her. "Gabby, I have some news." I might as well tell her, I mean she is my best friend.

"What is it?" She asks sitting up. I guess I have a really serious look on my face right now. This is serious though! Very serious.

"You remember Spencer right?" What a dumb question, I'm pretty sure she does being that I haven't stop talking about her for like the past 2 weeks.

"Yeah."

"Well today I kinda... sorta asked her to be my girlfriend..." I trail off looking away from her not wanting to see her reaction. She doesn't say anything for a minute. She just stares at me. "She said yes." I add thinking maybe that is what she was looking for.

"Ash, I thought that you didn't do relationships." I didn't, not until Spencer anyway.

"I didn't." Why is she looking at me like that?

"So now all of a sudden you do?" Why are you yelling I'm sitting right next to you.

"Gabs what's wrong?" She's acting like me having a girlfriend is a problem or something.

"You don't do monogamous relationships Ash, and now you've met this Spencer chick and she's changing you." Change isn't always bad thing. Especially in my case.

"I really like her Gabby." She doesn't say anything she just gets up and walks out. What the hell was that all about?

**7:42p.m**

Buzzzzzzzz. I look at my phone and I have a text from Spencer. A big smile comes across my face.

"It's her isn't it?" I look up and see Gabby standing in the doorway looking a little dejected.

"Yeah." I say simply. I can't figure out what I did wrong. Why is she mad at me or unhappy or sad or whatever she is. What did I do?

"What does she want?" I look down at my text because I didn't actually read it the first time I just saw that it was from her and it made me smile.

"She wants to hang out with me." I tell her. She shifts her weight to her other foot and leans against the door frame.

"Oh." She says looking down. What is it Gabby. Please let me know.

"I guess I'll take her out to dinner or something." I guess thats what a girlfriend is supposed to do.

"Okay." Is all she says. I get up and walk towards her.

"Gabby, whats wrong?" I ask her only inches away from her face. I can see the tears building up in her eyes and everything inside me begins to melt. "Gabby..." She doesn't say anything she just moves aside to let me through. "Gabby, sweetie..." I try again. But this time she walks into her room and goes in the bathroom and shuts the door. I don't know what I did wrong.

**8:43p.m**

I leave and go pick up Spencer to take her to dinner. We talked about everything and got to know each other a lot better. I found out that she skipped ninth grade because her placement scores were on a Juniors level. She actually could have came in as a Junior but her mother wouldn't allow it. Crazy right? After dinner we go back to my place. She's staying the whole weekend and week because they're out of school. How great is that?

"I had fun with you tonight." She tells me cuddling into my neck on my bed. Were listening to music and just enjoying each others company. I've never wanted to be this intimate with a girl before, this is so much better than sex.

"So did I." Buzzzzzzzz. I look at my phone and I have a text from Gabby.

'Can you come over my house right now?' It read.

'Uh...yeah sure.' I text back. I need to make things right with her anyway.

"Who is it?" Spencer ask looking up at me.

"Gabby, she wants me to come over for a sec." I tell her.

"Okay, well I'll be right here waiting." She says smiling. God, I love this girl. I kiss her before getting up and leaving.

When I get to Gabby's house she doesn't come down and let me in she text for me to come in and up to her room. Something is really bothering her. I go up to her room and she laying on the bed. I go and sit down next to her.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I ask.

"Ashley... I have a problem..." Why does this sound so familiar? Oh right thats the same thing Alex said to Paige before she confessed her love for her. Wait, What!

"Gabby..." I start but she cuts me off. Please don't say what I think you're about to say.

"Ashley... I'm in love with you." Wait. REWIND. Come again.

"Huh?" she sits up and faces me.

"I'm in love with you and I have been for sometime now. I never told you because you said you don't do relationships and I didn't want to make things akward for us because no matter what I wanted to be at least your friend if not more. But now that i know you do relationships I can't hold these feelings back anymore. I can't pretend they aren't there and just have sex with you. I need more." First of all I thought you were straight, second of all HUH?

"Gabby I... What... Gabby, I have a... I have a girlfriend." This is actually the first time I've had to use that line to turn a girl down. She's my best friend and I don't want to hurt her but I actually really really do like Spencer. She's not saying anything, she's just looking at me and I can see the tears building in her eyes again. I'm hurting her and thats something I said I would never do to her. "Gabby please don't cry..."

"Get out." Come again.

"Gabby." You can't be serious.

"Ashley get the fuck out of my house now." Good thing her parents aren't home because she's yelling at me.

"Gabby." I say in a disbelieving tone. She just looks at me and I know she's serious. I get up and walk towards the door. I look back and she has her head buried in her pillow trying to muffle her cries. I sigh then walk out the door. As soon as happiness comes in my life as soon as I find someone that I care for and some kind of stability and serenity this shit happens. Fuck I hate life...

I get home around 8:15p.m and Spencer is still in my room, waiting for me. As much as I want to hang out with her right now. I need some time alone to myself to think. I tell her that I have a headache and that I just wanted to get some sleep. She told me she understood and that she would come check on me in the morning to make sure I was feeling better. Such a good girl friend. I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. 'I cannot believe this is happening to me right now' I thought to myself. There is a knock on my door. What is it now?

"Come in." I yell. Its Kyla.

"Hey Ash." What does she want. I don't say anything. I just look at her. "Okay don't talk just listen." she says sitting down on my bed. "I know about you and Spencer." I figured. "And I'm okay with it, as long as you don't hurt her." How many times have we had this conversation.

"Kyla, please. I'm seriously not in the mood." I've had a really long day.

"What happened?" We usually talk about these type of things but lately I'm been pushing her away and not letting her in.

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Ash, since when do we not talk about your problems?" Good question.

"I just...I can't take this..." I say drained, letting all my built up emotions run free.

"What sweetie?" She asks comforting me. I'm crying now because everything is just so dispiriting.

"I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to be a better person. I like Spencer a lot and I don't want to hurt her Ky I don't but I don't think I have a choice. It's just who I am, who I've been since I can remember and changing is so hard." She's not speaking she's just shaking her head and rubbing circles in my back trying to calm me. "Gabby told me that she was in love with me." I say finally. She sits back.

"What?" She looks confused and angry all in one.

"Tonight, she told me that she loved me and she wants to be with me. Right when I get with Spencer, she tells me this shit and expects me to do it. I'm so confused, I love Gabby but only as a friend and I don't want to lose her."

"Wow Ash." I'm going through a crisis right now and all she can say is wow.

"What do I do?" I'm like really thrown.

"I don't know." You got to give me more than that. "Maybe you should just tell Spencer."

"You don't have to tell me anything." We look up and see Spencer standing at the door. Shit! How long has she been standing there? I get up and go over to her.

"How much did you hear?" I ask. I can see the tears building in her eyes. I guess she heard all of it.

"Enough." She says turning and running down the hall to Kyla's room. I run after her. We're in Kyla's room she's in the bathroom and won't come out.

"Spencer please, let me explain." I say through the door.

"Go away." She yells back. 16 year olds, damn!

"Spencer, whatever you heard or you think you heard. It's not what you think." I'm not really sure what she heard so I don't want to get myself in more trouble.

"Ashley, you're in love with your best friend." What! Okay she heard so wrong.

"Spencer no I'm not. I don't know what you heard but it wasn't that. I swear." She opens the door. She's been crying and I hate seeing her like this. "I swear that I'm not in love with her. Its the other way around. But I told her that I was with you, so it couldn't happen."

"You did?" She sounds so cute right now. Like a little girl.

"Yes, I did." I tell her wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her into me. "Spencer, I know that I have a sleazy past but I'm trying. I'm trying really hard for you. I haven't fallen for someone since I was eleven so you can see how this could be hard for me. But I promise I'll try. Okay?" She staring into my eyes and I know she can see how sincere I am.

"Okay." She smiles.

"Okay." I smile back.

"Just one more thing."

"Sure whatever you want." I say kissing her forehead.

" I want you to stop being friends with her." WHAT!... Can this day get any worse...

I can't believe she is doing this, she doesn't have that right. Gabby and I have been friends for nine years, a girl can never come between us.

"Spencer, I can't not be her friend. We've been best friends since we were nine." Seriously there's no way.

"But she likes you." So! So do a lot of other people.

"That doesn't matter, I already told her I can't go there with her. If you can't accept the fact that were friends then WE can't be together." She doesn't say anything. I guess we're about to break up already.

"Okay." What is she saying okay to?

"Okay what?"

"I trust you." Okay, I didn't say trust me, I said accept the fact that we're friends. I don't even trust myself. So much drama already and we haven't even been together a full day.

**Sunday 8:09a.m**

I get up and go downstairs to the kitchen. Everyone but my dad is still asleep, he gets up on Sunday's sometimes and cooks breakfast. I love my dad.

"Wow, it smells awesome in here dad." Hes cooking pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, and biscuits.

"Thank you cupcake. Why are you up so early?" He ask pouring some more waffle batter into the waffle maker.

"Couldn't really sleep." So much stuff on my mind.

"Something on your mind sweetie?" You know me so well daddy.

"A lot of stuff actually." I say laying my head on the bar.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Spencer and I are together." He looks at me quizzical.

"I know I don't usually do relationships but I really like her so I'm trying." He smiles.

"So is that whats wrong?"

"No, Gabby told me that she was in love with me." He stops what he's doing at looks at me.

"I told you. I knew it was a bad idea for you two to be friends and sleep together. I warned you sweetie." Yes I told my dad about us. I usually tell him everything. Like I said we're REALLY close.

"I know daddy. But we had an agreement and I thought that she was okay with it but obviously she wasn't. I just don't know what to do. And now Spencer wants Gabby and I to stop being friends. Its like as soon as something good happens something bad as to follow."

"Ashley sweetie, that's life everything is not always cookies and rainbows sometimes you have to go through rainstorms, otherwise you can't get to the rainbows. That's just the way it is."

"Yeah and it sucks!" I say in a baby voice.

"So do you know what you're going to do?" Kinda.

"I told Spencer that Gabby and I have been friends forever so if she can't accept it then we can't be together. She says that she trusts me, but I don't think she should you know how I am daddy."

"You say you really like this girl right?"

"Yeah."

"Well staying true to her shouldn't be a problem. I can't remember the last time you told me that you really like someone." He's right the last time I told him about a girl I REALLY liked was Carmen. Yup the one that ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

"I guess." I start but then Kyla and Spencer walk into the kitchen.

"Hey daddy and Ash." I nod my head at her and daddy speaks. Spencer walks over and sits next to me.

"Hey Mr. D." She's so cute.

"Hey Spencer. I heard that you would be staying with us all week." He says smiling at her.

"Yes sir." I just now realize that she hasn't spoken to me yet.

"Well thats great. You know you're always welcome in our home." He's looking at me smiling.

"Thank you Mr. D." She looks at me. "Good morning." She says smiling.

"Took you long enough." I say smiling back.

"Awe were you waiting on me to speak?" Yeah.

"No." I say jokingly.

"Sure you weren't." She says wrapping her arms around my waist. She's looking right into my eyes. Does she not know my dad and Kyla are in the room.

"Spencer..." I start. I think she wants to kiss me because she's now looking at my lips. I look over at my dad and he's smiling trying not to look our way. Kyla has her eyes covered. lol.

"Huh?" She says still looking at my lips.

"Come on." I say grabbing her hand and pulling her upstairs to my room. I hear Kyla yell 'thank you' as we reach the top of the stairs. I guess she didn't want to see any PDA between her best friend and sister.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I just wanted to do this." She pushes me into the wall and kisses me. Then pulls back and smiles. "Every time I see you I want to kiss you." That could become a problem.

"Freak." I joke.

"Shut up." She shrieks hitting me on the arm. "I want to do something today. Can we?"

"Sure, what are you in the mood to do?"

"Um, I don't know bowl." I guess I'm up for that.

"Okay."

"Okay, I'll go see if Kyla wants to go." She says running out the room. And as if on cue I get a text from Gabby.

'I'm sorry about freaking out on you yesterday and yelling at you. Can we hang out today?' Fucking great. I can't get away from this shit.

'We're all going bowling. You want in?' I ask not mentioning that Spencer was coming.

'Yeah sure.' She text back.

'Okay, I'll pick you up at like eleven.'

'Okay. See you later.' She texts back.

I call Aiden and ask him if he wants to come because I can not deal with Spencer and Gabby. One is going to think I'm neglecting them and then one's going to get mad at me and I just don't feel like dealing with that right now. He agrees, but says that he's bringing a date along. I go downstairs everyone is up now, so we all eat breakfast then Spencer, Kyla, and I get ready for bowling. I made Spencer ride with Kyla not mentioning that I was going to get Gabby just that I had to do something and would meet them there. This should be interesting...


	11. Bowling or Fighting?

**Chapter 11  
**

Gabby and I arrive at the bowling alley and I must say I'm a little bit nervous about how this is all going to turn out. My new girlfriend and my best friend don't like each other for the simple fact that they both like me. This sucks...

We get in and I see Spencer, Kyla, Aiden, and his date waiting for us at a lane. I guess Gabby has spotted Spencer because she stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me. I knew what was coming next.

"What the fuck Ash!" I play dumb.

"What?" I ask.

"Spencer's here." I guess I'll play dumb some more.

"Really?" I say looking around. Lol.

"Ashley Marie Davies, do not play dumb with me!" She never calls out my full name unless she is pissed. Okay maybe I should have told her Spencer was coming but I didn't think she would come if I did, and I really wanted her to come because she IS my best friend and all.

"Okay look Gabby don't be mad but you're my best friend and she's my girlfriend so I want you guys to get along. Can you just do that for me... Please?" I pout. She sighs and stares at me intensely.

"Fine." Thank God. At least I got one person to promise to act civil. We join the rest of them on the lane and Spencer is staring at me like she wants to yell at me for not telling her that I was going to get Gabby. But she doesn't say anything. So we start the game its Gabby, Aiden and I against Spencer, Kyla and Aiden's date Julie. Everything is going great until I roll my fifth strike in a row and Spencer decides she wants to congratulate me with a kiss.

"What the fuck Ash." Gabby practically yells. And even after that everything would have been okay if Spencer wouldn't have butted in.

"Do you have a problem?" Spencer asked Gabby and I knew all hell was about to break loose.

"Yeah I do... You." Shit! I just wanted to have a nice fun afternoon of bowling...

"Really? And what exactly is your problem with me?" That you're with her best friend who she also happens to be in love with.

"You don't deserve Ashley." Really? If anything I thought it would be the other way around. I'm standing in between them now, to keep the blows verbal and not physical.

"You're just mad because she chose me and not you." Left hook.

"Oh whatever. She's still going to be sleeping in my bed whenever I call her." Right jab.

"Ha, thats what you think. I'm more than enough for her." Upper cut.

"You keep thinking that. Ashley will never change, she's not a relationship person no matter how much she tries its never gonna happen. She'll cheat on you too, eventually." Left jab. Below the belt. Wait! That kinda hurt me.

"Gabby..." I start.

"Don't, just take me home." dammit, this did not go the way I hoped it would. I look at Kyla and she reads my mind because she grabs Spencer's hand and pulls her towards the exit. They stop to give their shoes back and then they're out the door. I look at Gabby and shake my head.

"We're gonna go, we'll see you guys later." Aiden says before walking off with his date. I just stand there and look at Gabby. I can't believe thats how she feels about me.

"Is that what you really think?" I ask.

"What am I supposed to think Ash." She says before walking off. Fuck, having a girlfriend is SOOO much drama. We get out to the car and we still haven't said a word to each other. The entire ride back to Gabby's was quiet. We pulled into the drive way and as she was about to get out of the car I grabbed her hand.

"Gabby..." She's looking at me. She's looking at me like she's never looked at me before. Like it hurts to look at me right now. Like she's disappointed in me.

"Ash...I love you. And its not just gonna go away. I need to be with you. I can't just be your friend anymore, its not enough for me. I can't... I can't see you with her and pretend like it doesn't hurt. I..." She stops as she chokes on her words. I can see the tears forming in her eyes and I'm kicking myself right now for making her cry. She's the last person on earth that I wanted to hurt, ever! I'm not sure what to say to her. I don't want to tell her that I just don't think of her that way because I don't want to break her heart more than I already have.

"Gabby I love you too." I don't think I want to say the rest. But... I have to. "But you're my best friend and I don't want to mess that up. I need you in my life, but it can only be as a friend. I'm soo sorry sweetie." I really am. She looks up at me for a second before looking back down and reaching for the door handle.

"Do you love her?" She asked before opening the door. I don't know if I do, I think I could.

"I... I think I might." I say. She gives me a look of dejection before getting out of the car and going into her house. I cannot believe this is happening...

I pull out my phone and call Rebbecca. She always knows what to say. I tell her that I need to talk to her and she tells me to come over because Rob is on a business trip.

"So whats up?" She asks moving aside to let me in the house.

"Girls." I say simply flopping down on the couch.

"Can you be a little more specific please." She says sitting down next to me.

"I asked Spencer to be my girlfriend..."

"Oh so you finally decided to settle down?" She interrupts.

"Let me finish." I say a little irate.

"Sorry."

"So, I asked Spencer to be my girlfriend and then my best friend tells me that she is in love with me, and now she's upset with me because I told her that I'm with Spencer and it can't happen."

"Is this the same best friend that you were sleeping with?" Yeah, so.

"Yup." I say laying my head in her lap. I'm seriously exhausted.

"Ashley, by sleeping with her and the fact that she is your best friend you made her believe that there could be something more. She figures since you guys are best friends that you would never hurt her. Maybe she's felt this way about you all along but didn't know how to tell you. On top of that you've always said you don't do monogamous relationships so she probably thought you wouldn't want her relationship wise, so she settled for friendship with benefits." She said rubbing my hair. I loved when she did that.

"Thats exactly what she said." I told her closing my eyes.

"Maybe she should be a psychiatrist then." She said joking.

"Maybe." I said drifting off into a deep sleep. I told you, I was emotionally exhausted.

**10:07 p.m**

I woke up and looked at my cell phone. Shit! I over slept now Spencer is going to think I slept over at Gabby's or with her even. I got up and put my shoes on. I guess Becca took them off while I was sleeping. I got in my car and drove home.

**10:32p.m**

I go up to my room to find Spencer laying on my bed asleep. I guess she was waiting up for me and fell asleep. I don't deserve her, because I know in the end I'm just going to hurt her like everyone else I've ever slept with or dated. I go take a shower and join her in the bed trying not to wake her. I laid down and she turned over so that she was facing me. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hey.." She said in a sleepy voice.

"Hey." I smiled back.

"I was waiting up for you." She is so beautiful.

"I'm sorry. I had to go visit a friend." Please don't let her freak out.

"Is Gabby okay?" Huh...

"What do you mean?" I'm confused. She was just throwing verbal punches at her now she wants to know if she's okay.

"Tell her I'm sorry about all the stuff I said. I didn't really mean it. I was just upset. Well the part about me being enough for you was the truth but everything else was just me being mad." She said with a slight smile.

"Okay. I'll do that." I said. She turned back over and grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her waist and snuggled closer to me. Her breathing evened out I knew she was asleep again. I just laid there our breathing in sync. I put my hand on her chest and felt her heart beating.

"I think I love you Spencer." I whispered softly. She was asleep so I know she couldn't hear me. I don't think I could ever tell her that while she was awake. Not yet anyway...


	12. Friends, Ex's and Surprises

**Chapter 12  
**

**Wednesday April 18th**

Its been three days since I talked to Gabby. She won't return my phone calls and when I go over she either gets her brother or mother to say she isn't there which I know is a lie. I hate the fact that me having a girlfriend that isn't her, is ruining our friendship it really sucks. On the other hand Spencer and I are doing great. I actually like having her as a girlfriend believe it or not. But I must admit I'm also talking to this other girl. Nothing serious but I always have to have a back up. Josie has been calling me non stop for the simple fact that I haven't called her for sex in like five days. I'm content with Spencer right now. So we've been hanging out all the time and shes growing on me more everyday.

**2:37p.m**

"I have a surprise for you tonight." I tell her as we are laying on my bed looking at t.v.

"What is it?" She ask looking up at me. We've been in bed all day just holding each other and watching t.v. I think Kyla is kind of mad that I've stolen her best friend and now she has no one to hang out with.

"If I tell you it wouldn't be a surprise now would it." I say smiling at her.

"Then why did you even bring it up?"

"Because I just wanted you to know that tonight I have a surprise for you." A really good one.

"Okay." She smiles then lays her head back down on my chest and watches the t.v again.

There is a knock on the door.

"Come in." Its daddy. Wait its the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday, what is my dad doing home before ten.

"Hey sweetie. Hey Spencer."

"Hey dad, what are you doing here. You didn't get fired did you?" I ask jokingly.

"No I didn't get fired I left some paper work so I came back to get it."

"Oh." Still not sure what this has to do with me.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Uh-oh this cant be good.

"Yeah, sure." I say getting up and following him out my door and down the hall. "Whats up?" I ask.

"I see you and Spencer are getting along pretty well." Oh! This talk.

"Yeah, we're actually doing pretty good." I tell him truthfully.

"So you haven't cheated on her with lets say Josie?" What kind of question is that dad.

"No."

"Well she's downstairs and she looks pretty pissed." Dammit. What is she doing here. Who let her in!

"Thanks for the heads up dad."

"No problem sweetie. But I have to ask, is Spencer the only person in your life right now?" Kinda.

"Well theres this other girl name Jasmine but is nothing serious, we're just talking." He's giving me a look right now and I now what he wants to ask.

"No dad, we haven't slept together." He lets out a sigh of relief. He cares about my happiness and thats why I love him so much.

"What happened between you and Gabby? I haven't seen her in a few days."

"She's not happy about Spencer and I and I don't know what to do about the whole situation."

"It'll work itself out honey, just give her some time she'll come around."

"I hope so. I guess I should go handle Josie."

"Okay sweetie. I'll see you tonight."

"K, daddy. Love you."

"Love you too pumpkin."

I went downstairs and sure enough Josie was sitting there looking pissed as hell. I needed to get rid of her and fast. I did not want Spencer walking down here and they get into it.

"Ashley, why haven't you been returning my phone calls?" She ask getting up off the couch.

"I've been busy." Aubrey is sitting on the couch watching t.v. She probably let her in knowing Spencer and I were upstairs.

"What do you mean you've been busy. Since when are you too busy for me?" When am I not?

"Aubrey you mind?"

"Uh, I was here first. Why don't you go to your room and talk. Oh right you have another girl in there." Now do you see why I don't like her. Bitch.

"WHAT!" Shit, this is not going to be good. Aubrey is smirking. Asshole.

"Josie, look you're not my girlfriend we were strictly cut buddies and you knew that from the beginning." That was kind of harsh. She's smiling why is smiling.

"You're a fucking douche you know that. You use girls and then dump them to the curb." That is so not true. Okay, maybe a little.

"Whatever, look just go okay. I have company and I don't have time to deal with you right now."

"Does your little friend know that you're a slut?" Okay, if one more person calls me that.

"Josie just go."

"Fuck you Ashley." Okay why is she running up the stairs. Shit, Spencer! She runs up to my room and burst in the door. I hear Spencer yell something before I get there.

"Ashley, who is this?"

"She's no one she was just leaving."

"Actually, I'm her ex and you will be too. She uses girls and throws them away you're going to end up just another number in her black book." I don't even fucking have a black book. Its red.

"Josie leave!" I'm pissed now. I guess Kyla heard all the yelling because she ran down the hall to my room.

"Whats going on?" She asks coming into my room. "Josie what the hell are you doing here?" Alright Ky! Get on her.

"None of your damn business." Wrong move Josie.

"Who the fuck are you talking to? You need to get the hell out of our house."

"You know what. I'm out of here. I don't need this shit!" Thank God. She's storming out and I hope she knows I'm not chasing after her. Kyla looks at me and Spencer then leaves. I look at Spencer and she giving me a please don't tell me you used to sleep with that crazy chick look. Wish I could say that.

"Spencer, those things she said..." I start. She cuts me off.

"I don't care, it doesn't matter. You're with me now and I know that you would never hurt me." Not intentionally anyway. She smiles and I return one. She's perfect. I hope I can stay true to her.

"So... you should go get ready. Because we have a big night tonight." I hope I didn't just give it away. She smiles then hops off the bed leaves the room. Nothing is going to ruin my surprise for her tonight...


	13. First Time

**Chapter 13  
**

**7:49 p.m**

"Ashley I can't see anything."

"I think that's the whole point of a blindfold Spencer." I'm leading her to our surprise and I've had the blindfold on her since we left my house and shes been crying about it ever since I put it on.

"Did I ever tell you how much I hate surprises?"

"Spence, if you don't shut up, I'm going to leave you here all by yourself." She has no idea where we are.

"What?" She shrieks. lol. "You wouldn't."

"No I wouldn't, but still shut up."

"Okay, okay." So we get up to the door and I open it. "You ready?" I ask.

"Yes! Take this blindfold off me already!"

"Okay, gosh calm down." I take the blindfold off and she looked kind of in shock or something.

"Ash, I..." I think I took her speech for once. Yay me! lol.

"Spence, you gonna go in or just stand out here?" She didn't move, if she couldn't handle this part then she definitely is not going to be able to handle the main course. So to speak. "Come on." I say pulling her in since she's not moving.

Okay let me paint the picture for what she's seeing. We're at a hotel room and when you first walk in the door there are rose pedals all over the floor and candles practically everywhere. I guess shes never seen anything like this before. It's actually the first time I've ever done anything like this because usually sex for me is just a way to satisfy my needs, but tonight its much more than that... I know, I'm such a sap. What can I say, I really like this girl. Plus its been like what almost 2 weeks since I've gotten any. Thats way to long, for me anyway. Anyway, thats just the front room, she hasn't even seen the bathroom or bedroom and she's already breathless, damn I'm good.

"Ashley, what is all this?" What does it look like?

"Its for you. I told you. I wanted your first time to be extra special." She's giving me a look, kinda like she can't believe I went through all this trouble just for her. It was nothing. Plus I had help. Kyla's my best sister for a reason.

"I can't believe you did all this." Told ya.

"It was nothing." I assure her. "Anyway, lets go to the back." I say pulling her towards the bedroom. Lets get this party started. So were in the bathroom, and again she has that look on her face. Its easy to impress this girl.

"Its beautiful." Yeah, it kinda is. I have a bubble bath made with rose pedals in it and candles all around the humongous tub. And a platter of chocolate covered strawberries and some wine... Okay its not wine its sparkling cider, but I only got that because I know she doesn't drink. See how considerate I am.

"So are we going to get in or just stand here admiring it?"

"Come on." She says pulling me back into the bedroom. Which is also covered in rose pedals and candles and roses all over the bed. Wait, is she trying to skip dessert and get straight to my 'goodies.' (A/N:lol)

"Spence, I..." Before I could even getting my words out shes got me backed into the wall and is attacking my lips with her own. What is with this girl and backing people into things. She pulls me off the wall and practically throws me on the bed. I guess she's been waiting for this night too.

"OUCH!" Fucking roses and their thorns I told the florist to clip 'em good. She is so fired.

"What is it?" Am I bleeding, I think I'm bleeding.

"Fucking thorns."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She says pulling me back up. This is not going to ruin my night. Nope, not a chance. I take the bedspread and throw it off the bed onto the floor. Roses inside. I'm making love to her tonight no matter what... Yep... I said make love.

I pull her down on the bed with me. She is on top of me straddling me now. I lift her shirt over her head then reconnect our lips in a passionate kiss. She pushes me back down breaking the kiss and I'm like what the fuck. She stands up and starts to unbutton her jeans... OH... she wants me! She takes her pants, underwear and bra off and throw them to the side. She's completely naked now and I realize I'm still fully dressed. I start to undress myself but she grabs my hands stopping me. I'm confused.

"Let me.." Oh.. Okay. She starts taking off my clothes. Shirt first then, bra, then she makes her way down to my pants zipper unzipping them with her teeth. HOT AS HELL! She pulls them down and off, then comes back up to take off my underwear. We're both completely naked now. She is so freaking gorgeous.

I scoot back up to the top of the bed and she joins me crawling up on her hands and knees. She gets on top of me straddling me again. She crashes her lips into mines, our tongues battling for dominance. She kisses her way to my neck sucking on my pulse point. I let out a small moan. Damn, she act like she knows what shes doing. I can't take it anymore... I flip her over so that I'm now on top. I have to be in control...

I kiss her again, hard. I kiss my way down to her breast stopping to give them a little attention, sucking the right nipple while playing with the other. She's moaning of course... yep I'm that good. I switch nipples so the other wouldn't feel neglected. I then kiss my way down her body, making my way to her center. I take my finger and rub it over her folds.

"Shit!" She's wet as hell. She looks up at me and smiles. I guess I do that to her.

I then position my head between her legs. I take one long lick and I feel her shiver and arch her back up. Dang, I haven't even really started yet. I then start circling around her slit and I can tell its driving her crazy, she's grabbing the sheets and her back is arched. I wrap my lips around her clit, sucking on it around while teasing it with my tongue. Loud whimpers escape her lips. I lick downward to her opening and thrust my tongue inside of it. My tongue stoking her inner walls. She screams my name... Always a good sign. I keep plunging my tongue in and out of her, I feel her body began to tense up and I know she's close. Her first orgasm, compliments of moi. I go faster to help her come faster and sure enough she does.

Her body shakes and shivers as her orgasm overcomes her. She pulls me up into a kiss and I'm sure she can taste herself on my tongue. I lay down next to her, her breathing has evened out and I know she's asleep. I get up and shake the roses of the comforter and throw it over her. I lay back down next to her, my head in the crook of her neck. Great night, great night indeed.

"This isn't over." What? I thought she was asleep.

"I thought you were out."

"Doesn't matter. This isn't over." She says turning over and getting on top of me... I guess its my turn...


	14. And it Just Keeps getting Worse

**Chapter 14  
**

**Thursday April 19th**

I woke up the next morning with her in my arms, replaying last night's events in my head. For her to be a virgin she sure didn't act like one, that's for sure. She's still asleep and I don't want to wake her but we really should get up and go get breakfast because I'm starving. I try and reach for the phone without waking her but I can't reach it unless I move her head.

"Shit!" I say in a loud whisper. My phone is ringing now and I really didn't want to wake her, I wanted to surprise her with breakfast but she's stirring now and I know she's waking up. She sits up and I reach down on the floor and grab my cell out of my pants. "Hello?"

"Ash?" Uh yeah, you called me didn't you?

"Kyla?"

"Ash, where are you? You need to come home now." Okay, seriously when did Kyla become my mother? She has been giving me too many orders lately.

"What is it Ky? I'm with Spencer?" I said hoping she would get the hint.

"I'm sorry, but you need to come home now. You have to help me I don't know what to do and she's on her way over here and I don't want to go but she's trying to make me and I-"

"Okay, Kyla calm down." I say sitting up. This sounds serious. "What are you talking about and speak clearly and slower."

"My mom, she's trying to take me away." WHAT!

"What do you mean away?"

"She wants me to move in with her. She told dad that it wasn't fair that he got custody of me just because he makes more money so she's taking him back to court but she's been granted temporary custody or some shit like that, but Ashley you have to help me I don't want to go please, don't let her take me." I get out of bed and start putting on my clothes.

"Ky, I'll be there in a sec sweetie don't worry I won't let anyone take you away. I promise."

"Okay." She says in a childlike voice. I know she's about to cry. I hang up, and throw on the rest of my clothes.

"What's going on?" Spencer asks looking up at me.

"Kyla's mother is trying to take her away." Spencer jumps up and starts to get dressed. See, no one wants Kyla to go to her crazy mother. Everyone knows why my dad got custody of her in the first place.

After Ky was born her mom went all crazy and starting doing drugs and drinking. She lost her job and she started neglecting Kyla, like not feeding her or buying her clothes, instead she spent the money dad gave her for child support on drugs and booze so dad was granted custody of her when she was 7 and she's been with us ever since. I heard she went to rehab last year and she's been getting her act together but frankly I don't care. She's not getting Ky back, she blew it already. She does not get a second chance to ruin Ky's life.

We're in the car on the way to my house. Neither of us have said a word since we left the hotel. Although last night was great and I want to talk to her about it right now my sister needs me so I'm focusing on her right now. I pull in the driveway and we both hop out and practically run into the house where we find Ky, my dad, my mom and Amanda (Kyla's mom) sitting in the living room. Kyla's crying, so I run over to her.

"What's going on?" I ask, making sure I got the whole story from Kyla. My dad looks at me but doesn't say anything. "Dad! What's going on!" I almost yell. This is serious stuff and his silence is killing me.

"She has the papers sweetie, there's nothing I can do." He says in a quiet voice, I know he's hurting too.

"Dad, you can't be serious. We're not letting that thing take her." Oops, that kinda slipped out. I forgot she was in the room.

"Ashley!"

"What dad. She's not taking her, I'm not letting her. Did the court forget that just a little while ago she was a drunken crack addict?"

"I'm clean now. And it wasn't crack, thank you." Who the fuck is talking to you. I KNOW SHE IS NOT TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW?

"Was I talking to you?" I snapped. That slipped too.

"Ashley!" Dad, come on seriously?

"Dad, she's not taking her and that's that." I say sternly. What is that paper she's pulling out. I don't give a fuck about any court order. I couldn't fucking care less. "I don't care what the judge said. You're not taking her." I'm serious. I can feel the tears building in my eyes because my vision is becoming blurry and they're burning.

"Ashley, sweetie." My mom offers. I don't accept.

"No!" I crying now. And hard! Spencer walks over to me and tries to comfort me but I push her away and she stumbles backwards. I didn't mean to but I'm so upset right now, I'm not thinking straight. She gives me a look then approaches me again. Wrapping her arms around me and not letting me go. No matter how much I struggled.

"We really have to get going. Come on Kyla." Who told you you can speak lady.

"No." Alright Ky.

"Kyla, court orders."

"Fuck you and your court order." Alright KY!

"Kyla!" Dang dad, stay out of this. "Don't talk to you mother that way.

"She's not my mother." Sure isn't.

"I'm going out to the car to wait for you. Don't take too long." Don't try and be nice, we all hate you stupid lady. I hate you the most. You're taking my best friend away and you don't even care. Kyla breaks loose from my grip and runs upstairs.

"It was nice seeing you again Raife and Christine. See you again real soon." God I hate that woman.

"I have to go check on her." I whisper to Spencer. She nods her head and lets me go. I go up to Kyla's room but I don't see her. Then I hear sobbing coming from the closet. I walk over and open the door; she's sitting on the floor with her hands over her eyes and her knees up to her chest. I go in and sit down next to her. There goes the burning and blurry vision again.

"Ky." She looks at me. Eyes red from crying so much.

"I don't want to go Ash. You promised." Sometimes she acts like a real baby, but she's my baby. She's my little sister who also happens to be my best friend. I tell her things that I don't even tell Gabby.

"I know." Is all I can manage to say.

"But I'm leaving anyway." I'm crying. Again.

"I'm sorry." She's holding me now. Man, I'm going to miss her. And its not like I just can go see her anytime I want. Her mom stays in Augusta, that's a good two hour drive. This sucks big time.

"Me too." She says still holding me while I cry like a little baby. We hear a knock at the door then a soft voice.

"Kyla." Its Spencer. Shit I forgot her and Kyla are best friends, I know she's hurting too. We get up and go into the room. "Kyla, I..." Before Spencer could finish Kyla was hugging her, tightly. Maybe I should give them a moment. I walk out and shut the door. A few minutes later Spencer opens the door and walks out. She gives me a small smile and walks down the hall to my room. I walk back into the room; Kyla is sitting on the bed looking down at the floor. I go sit down next to her.

"I'm going to miss you." She looks up and me and smiles.

"I'm going to miss you too. Even though you get on my nerves most of the time. I still love you to death."

"'Til death." I repeat.

"Yep." She gives me a hug and I don't want to let her go.

"Call me everyday okay?"

"Okay." She says as she lets me go and gets up. She smiles before walking out of the room. I feel the burning again, and I know what's coming. A rain fall of tears. I slid off the bed onto the floor and cry my eyes out. I guess Spencer heard me because she came back in the room and sat down on the floor and held me.

"I know you're going to miss her." Yup.

"I...She...this..." I'm having a really hard time talking through my sobs.

"Shh.. It's okay." She said rubbing circles in my back trying to calm me. I went from the perfect night, to the worst day of my life... Or so I thought. But at least I had Spencer here with me...


	15. I just want to be left alone!

**Chapter 15**

**Friday April 20th**

It hasn't even been a full day and I miss Ky already. Her annoying habits, that now I realize I loved, I miss those too. Spencer hasn't left my side since yesterday, only to take an occasional bathroom and food break. She really is the perfect girlfriend, which really scares me because I've never had someone care so much about me and I don't really know how to handle it.

**4:37 p.m**

"Ashley, sweetie, you need to get up." Spencer tells me trying to pull me off the bed.

"I can't." I tell her. I really can't. If I get up I'll have to walk past Kyla's room and I'll start crying again.

"You need to eat." She tells me. Like I don't know that.

"Spencer please, just go." There I go pushing her away...

"No, You need to get up and eat and I'm not leaving until you do."

She is so stubborn.

"Fine." I say defeated I roll off the bed and stand up. My legs feel weird because I've practically been laying down for almost 24 hours. I get my balance and walk downstairs, followed by Spencer, to the kitchen where Aubrey and Adrian are sitting at the table playing cards.

"The dead has finally arisen." Aubrey says sarcastically. Nobody was as close to Ky as I was, it's like they don't even care she's gone.

"I'm really not in the mood Aubrey." I tell her opening up the refrigerator and scanning the contents.

"Did I ask you if you were in the mood!" Now can you really see why I don't like her.

"Leave her alone Aubrey." Adrian spoke up.

"Shut up Ad. She's always picking on me when I'm in a shitty mood so why shouldn't I do the same?" Asshole.

"You know what," I say slamming the fridge door closed. "You're a bitch and I can't wait until you get your little skinny ass out of this house." I say before storming off and back up to my room. Adrian yelled something to her before I slammed my door but I couldn't make out what he said but soon after I heard a car pull out of the driveway. She deserved whatever she got.

"Ashley." Spencer says softly opening my door.

"Spence, just go away please. I just want to be left alone." I tell her.

"Ashley, look I know that you're hurting right now and you miss Ky, I miss her too, but I'm NOT going to let you push me away. I'm just not!" She says raising her voice a little. I'm not really sure what to say to that. I'm not really pushing her away, more so asking for a little space.

"Spencer please, just go." I need to be alone right now.

"No." She has to be difficult right now.

"Spence," I start

"No Ashley, I told you I'm not going anywhere." Fine.

"Fine, then I'll go." I get up, put on my shoes and grab my keys off my desk.

"Where are you going?" She asked as I ran down the stairs.

"Away from here, away from you." With that she stopped dead in her tracks, I didn't mean to say it but I did. Stupid me right. Always. I didn't stop though I kept going. I got in my car and drove not really sure of where I was going. I couldn't go to the one person I would normally go to because she's still mad at me and Rebecca is out of town. I'm so lost. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. Everything is going so wrong in my life.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I look at my phone and I have a text from Spencer.

"You didn't mean that did you?" It read. I don't know what I mean anymore. I turned off my phone and threw it on the backseat. I feel so alone...

**Saturday April 21st  
**  
I wake up alone in my bed not really sure of how I even got here in the first place. Its weird that after I stormed out last night all I could think about was Spencer. Her smile, her laugh, her dimples. I missed her and I think I ruined everything. I grabbed my phone off the night stand and call her. No one answers. I dial it again. Still no answer. I guess she has the right to be mad at me for being such a damn idiot.

I get up shower get dressed and go downstairs. I think to myself.. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to fix this. Someway, somehow.

I go into the kitchen and find my dad reading the paper.

"Hey dad" I said as I entered the kitchen.

"Hey pumpkin" he replied smiling.

"Dad" I start as I sit down at the table next to him. "I think I screwed things up big time with Spencer"

"What happened sweetie?" He asked sitting the paper down on the table.

"Yesterday, I was just so upset about Ky and everything that has happened that I took it out on her. And last night I walked out on her after saying some really mean things." I said in one breath.

"Ashley, sweetie, I know you're upset about your sister, hell so am I, but you cant do this again. You can't push away someone you love and loves you because you're hurting. You do that alot. A whole lot! I was the same way when I was younger. Don't make the mistakes I have please." He said placing his hand on my back rubbing circles with it.

"You're right dad. I have to fix this but I'm not really sure how you know" I think I really messed up. Don't even know if she'll even forgive me.

"You'll think of something sweetie. I'm sure, you always do." He said smiling. He was right. I always come up with plans to fix things when I've messed up big time! Definitely need to pull out all the stops on this one.

"K. Love you daddy" I said standing up and kissing him on the cheek.

"Love you too Ash sweetie" I start to walk out the kitchen "Oh, and Ash honey."

"Yes daddy?"

"I'm proud of you for fighting for her. She must be really special." He says with pride, smiling.

"She is daddy" I say smiling back. "She really is.." I leave the kitchen and run upstairs to my room to make some calls. I have alot to do and not alot of time. I'm going to win my woman back if its the last thing I do...

**Saturday 2:01 p.m  
**  
After I made few calls, I finally feel like my plan is complete. If she doesn't take me back after this then I don't think she will.I run downstairs and out the door. Hop in my car and drive over to her house. I pull up in the driveway, jump out my car and run up to the door. I knock but no one answers. I knock again. Still no answer. I run back to my car and grab my phone and call Spencer. She doesn't answer. At this point I'm freaking out. I call Ky.

"Hello" she answers

"Hey Ky, I miss you." I say truthfully.

"I miss you too Ash, I haven't stopped crying since I got here." Her saying that makes me tear up.

"Ky have you talked to Spencer today?" I asked hoping she had.

"Yea, I did actually" Yes!

"Did she say anything about me?" Good hopefully.

"Yeah she told me about last night. About what you said and that you left her all alone at the house."

"Damn, is that it?" Please don't let it be.

"Ashley..." She paused... pauses are never good. "Ash, Spence is gone." Gone? what does she mean by gone? Like for the weekend?  
For the day? She cant be gone.

"What do you mean gone?" I asked breathing sharply?

"Ash sweetie maybe you should sit down or something."

"Ky please!" I beg almost in tears.

"She went to New York." New york?

"What, why? She's coming back though right?" Please be coming back! Please... I'm crying now.

"She's not coming back Ash. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever!" Words pierced my heart life someone was stabbing me with a thousand needles. Crying harder now. "She's staying with some family until her birthday then she's moving to California to be with her dad." OMG

"Why?" I asked... Knowing the answer!

"Ash..."

"NO! This can not be happening. I just lost you! I cant lose her too! What about graduation?"

"She's not going." I cant deal with this. I hang up the phone. Didn't mean to do Ky like that, but its just way too much to take in at one time.

What am I going to do? I cant live without her. She means so much to me. The first girl that I've ever wanted to be faithful to. I get back in my car and drive home. I'm not stopping til I find her. I don't care what it takes. I'm going to find her.

Days... weeks... a month has passed and I still cant find her... I'm pretty sure Ky knows where she is and just wont tell me. My phone rings.

**Monday May 19th  
**  
"Hello?" I answer. "OMG seriously?" good news. "OK thank you." I hang up.

A lead... I have a lead on Spencer. Gotta go get my girl!

**Sunday May 20th**

The next day I was on the first plane to New York. Not sure if she would see me, let alone forgive me. But I had to try I had to! I'm standing outside the address my private investigator gave me. Afraid to knock.. Afraid to breathe. Can't believe I'm going through all this for a girl. I smile at that though. This girl really has my heart! I knock softly hoping no one would hear it honestly. But someone did.  
A tall brunette haired woman about 35 opens the door.

"May I help you?" She ask.

I hesitate.

"Yes.. Is Spencer here?" I asked timidly.

"Spencer!" She yells up the stairs.

"YEAH?" Spencer hells back down! Oh god. Its so good to hear her voice again. How I've missed it.

"You have a visitor!" The woman yells back. Who I'm guessing is her aunt.

"Who is it?" Spencer asks running down the stairs. Stopping dead in her tracks when she sees me standing in the door. Neither of us spoke for about 10 minutes it seemed.

"Hi." I started.

"Hi." She replied back. She spoke to me... That's a good sign right?

"I.." I started but didn't get to finish...

"Don't Ash.." She said sharply. "Auntie could you give us a minute?"

"Of course sweetie. I'll be right in the kitchen if you need me. It was nice meeting you Ashley." She said walking away not giving me a chance to respond.

"What are you doing here Ashley?" Spencer asks me shutting the door behind her as she steps outside.

"Spencer you left. Without telling me that you were leaving. Or even where you were going.

"Why would I when you broke up with me?" DID I? When did this happen? Was I asleep or something?

"Spence I did not break up with you! I was hurting and I just didn't know how to deal. I'm sorry about what I said, but I did not break up with you!" I assure her.

"Ash, what do want?" Wow, she's really mad at me.

"I want you Spencer. Isn't that obvious?"

"So you think just because you get on a plane and fly to New York winning me back is going to be that easy?"

"No, but..." I start before she cuts me off.

"Don't Ash. You cant fix this like this. Maybe you cant fix it at all." Dagger through my heart.

"Spencer, I love you! And I'm sorry about the way I treated you but you have to come back."

"NO Ash. I don't..." I back away. Unsure of what to say at this point. My heart is aching. I want to cry.

"Spencer..."

"Look Ash. I love you. I have since the first lack of conversation we had. But maybe you should be alone for a while. And maybe you'll realize that I'm not your punching bag. And you need to learn to treat me as your equal, nothing less. I'm staying here for the summer and when I come back if you're still so in love with me... we'll go from there. Fair enough?"

As much as it hurt me to say this...

"Fair enough." I did anyway. She kissed me on the cheek and went back in the house. I stood on the porch in disbelief of what just happened. I was on the next plane back to Atlanta. Sitting alone... I bought the seat next to me for her. I was sure she was coming back with me...

That night I lay in my bed alone... All the surprises I had planned for Spencer had she come back with me I had to cancel. And once again... I feel so alone...


	16. Getting Back To normal

**Chapter 16  
**

**Friday May 25th**

"Ashley sweetie... Um baby, you know daddy loves you right?" Yeah dad I know. I think to myself. Its Friday and I haven't left my room, correction, my bed since Sunday. And yes I'm aware that I stink. But no Spencer means I have no reason to smell good anymore. Shes gone and she's not coming back for three months. Three whole months man! So I'm not leaving this bed for three months.

"Dad, I just want to be alone please."

"Ashley honey you need to get up. Shower first, then come downstairs and eat please honey. This is not healthy at all!" I know dad I know. But I feel like I lost the only two people in this world that really got me. Besides you of course daddy.

"I don wanna" Sometimes I can be a real baby!

"Honey if you don't get up I'm going to be forced to carry you to these set places and you're way too old now for me to be bathing you so please don't make me!." He said smiling trying to lighting the mood.

"DADDY! PLEASE!" He didn't move. "Ugh, fine! I'm up, I'm up!"

"Good, now after you shower come downstairs and I'll make you a big breakfast." He said getting up and walking to the door.

"K." I said sitting up. He left and went downstairs. I didn't want to get up, but how can I refuse my daddy. I got up and went into the bathroom nd got in the shower. The water felt so good against my skin. Probably because I hadn't felt it in so long. I got dressed and went downstairs where my dad had a big spread of food out for me on the dinning room table. I stuffed my face for like an hour before I decided finally I was full.

I go back upstairs and flop down on the bed... Spencer is all I've been able to think about. Shes all I've wanted to think about.

My phone vibrates on the night stand and I turnover and grab it to see who it is... A text from Josie.

"Hey" it read.

"Hey" I texted back.

"I haven't heard from you in a while I was just making sure everything was OK."

"Yeah, everything is fine." I didn't want to tell her about the whole Spencer situation. Don't really feel like dealing with her right now anyway.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to come over? My mom and siblings are out of town so i wanted some company." I thought to myself for a second. 'Is it really worth it?' I got up put some clothes on and texted back.

"I'm on my way." I texted grabbing my keys off the night stand and headed out the door.

**Friday May 25th 1:30 p.m**

I'm sitting in the driveway of Josie's house. Not sure if I'm going to go in or not. I cant stand the thought of cheating on Spencer but she didn't come back with me. I wanted her to come back with me. I needed her to come back with me. Why ' she come back with me? All types of thoughts start running through my mind. I get out of the car,walk up to the door and knock. Josie answers.

"Hey you." She says with a big smile on her face. She looks like she missed me in the past months.

"Hi." I replied back holding my head down.

"Come on." She says pulling me in and dragging me up the steps to her bedroom. I knew exactly why she called me over and she didn't waste anytime getting right down to business. She throws me on the bed and starts to undress me.

"Josie wait." I plead stopping her.

"What is it Ash? Whats wrong?" she looks confused. I knew what she wanted and I came so that means that I wanted it too. Well at least that's what it meant to her.

"I don't think I can do this!" I love Spencer. There is no denying that!

"Why did you come then?" Why did I come? Maybe to talk or to listen. I don't know honestly. Just cant do this.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." I say putting back on my clothes.

"Ash wait, don't go please." What now?

"I have to Josie." I say as I stand up and walk out the door. I get in m car and drive away as quickly as I possibly could. Can't believe I was going to do that to Spencer. Maybe I haven't changed. Maybe I'm still the same ol' person I was two months ago before I met Spence. The one person I would go talk to in this situation isn't talking to me and Rebbecca well Rebbecca and her husband are trying to work things out. Even though Gabby isn't talking to me maybe she'll just listen. I grab my phone out of my bag and call her.

"Hello," a voice picks up on the other end. Doesn't sound like Gabby though.

"Hi, Gabby?" I sorta ask.

"Hold on one second. BABY" the girl yells. BABY? "You have a phone call." So Gabby has a girlfriend now? I guess she's moved on from me I cant blame her.

"Hello?" Gabby answers

"Hey Gabby its me, Ash."

'OH hey Ash, how are you?" She sounds exited to hear from me actually. If so, why hasn't she just picked up the phone and called me?

"I'm OK. Just miss you best friend." I admit.

"I miss you too Ash. I've been meaning to call you and tell you the good news." Good news? What good news?

"So tell me now" I say.

"Well..." She pauses.. "Ash, I'm kinda sorta engaged." ENGAGED! I haven't talked to you in a month and now you're engaged? What the hell is this?

"Oh, wow. Who is the lucky person?"

"Well her name is Bianca. She went to high school with us. You probably don't remember because she was quiet and shy. But we ran into each other about a month and a half ago and we started dating and 2 days ago she proposed."

"Oh wow." This really is a shock. Gabby just realized she was gay and now all of a sudden shes engaged. Too much for me.

"Yeah I know right. But I'm happy. Very very happy." Well at least she's happy. She deserves that.

"I'm happy for you Gabs." I say truthfully.

"Thank you Ash. So whats up?" I didn't want to ruin her good news with my bad news so i didn't say anything.

"Nothing. Just wanted to check up on you. We should hang out this week sometime."

"Yeah definitely. The four of us should most definitely chill this week. How about Sunday?" The four of us? Oh she means Spencer too. Great.

"Yeah ok. Call me." I say a little sad.

"K. Love you Ash." God how I've missed my best friend.

"Love you too Gabs." We hang up. I'm home now just sitting in the driveway. I seem to do that a lot lately. I just want to be alone. Now that Spencer is gone.

Finally, I get out the car and go into the house.

"OMG!" I yell out.

You'll never guess who's sitting on my couch...


	17. Best And Worse Surprises Ever

**Chapter 17  
**

**Friday May 25th 4:01p.m**

I kept repeating OMG OMG in my head because I couldn't believe who was sitting on couch at this very moment. I was in utter disbelief and I'm sure that she could tell because I was still standing in the doorway with my mouth open. She walks over to me puts her hand up to my chin to close my mouth, shuts the door behind me and takes my hand to lead me over to the couch.

"What are you doing here?" I ask

"I missed you." Really?

"I missed you too Spencer. But I thought you said that you were going to stay up there the entire summer?" She did say that didn't she? Or am I tripping?

"I know, but I was thinking and I realized that I couldn't go an entire summer without you. No matter how mad I am at you, I still want to be able to see you when I want." I'm not sure how to take that actually. Really I don't care because she's back! My baby is back! I lean forward to kiss her hoping she wasn't still mad enough not to kiss me. And to my surprise she kisses back and I'm in heaven! I've missed her lips...her tongue so much! And I'm guessing she can tell that too because I can feel her smile against my lips.

"Ash wait." She says pulling back. Dammit what now? Can I just have this moment please!

"Yeah?"

"I meant what I said though. About treating me as your equal and not taking your frustrations out on me."

"Okay baby, I promise." I say truthfully. I'll try my best!

"OK." She smiles. How I've missed that smile these few weeks. "So over this past month what have you done without me?"God, I didn't want this question to come up. Should I be truthful and tell her about Josie or lie? I mean nothing happened really. I stopped her before anything could. Does a kiss count? I think I should just forget Josie ever happened shouldn't I?

"Nothing. Just missing you." I say with a smile. And just as we were about to kiss again as if on cue there's a knock at the door. I get up to answer it and when I open it I find the biggest yet worst surprise anyone could ever ask for at this present moment and time...

"OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"... I'm so dead!

Why me God? Why does it seem that whenever something good happens in my life it always no matter what has to be followed by something terrible? Why can't I just be happy for once? Do I not deserve happiness? Will I live to see it? Yes, I have money and I should be happy, but to me... money doesn't make happiness! Sometimes it only brings tears and pain.

I drown the thoughts in my head out by slamming the door in set person's face. Hoping Spencer wouldn't make too much of a deal about it.

"Who was that?" god why does she have to be so nosy!

"Um... nobody." Why can't I just tell her the truth? I always dig myself into deeper and deeper holes.

"Ook" She looks confused. Should I just tell her the truth? She's going to hate me I know it.

"Spencer, I have something to tell you..." I start...

**_Tuesday_**_ **May 1st 7:02p.m**_

_"Wait wait, are you sure your parents won't be back home tonight?" I'm paranoid; just don't want to get caught by her parents._

_"I'm sure Ashley. They said they would see me in the morning. We're all alone. I promise! For you to be such a bad ass, you sure are paranoid as hell." So! Let's just do this already._

_"OK." Is all I say before we're back lip locked!_

_"Take your clothes off." She commands me... I think I like being dominated. I comply. And she follows._

_We're naked on her bed making out. Spencer pops in my head then just as quickly pops out. She kisses a trail down from my lips over my breast and to my belly button. She's circling my belly button with her tongue. Turning me on even more. She looks up at me and smiles and I know where she is about to go._

_I hold my breath to prepare myself for what is about to happen. It's been so long for me. Okay maybe it hasn't been that long but it feels like it._

_She dives her tongue inside my opening and I scream because like I said it feels soooo good! A feeling I haven't felt in a long time! I need some release. She taking long hard licks and I'm feeling the best I've felt in a long time. Since Spencer left me!_

_"Ashley." She stops and lifts her head up. What could she possibly want to talk about in the middle of sex? I push her head back down not willing to find out!_

_She's plunging in and out of my opening and I can feel myself about to cum. A few more strokes and I'm there. OMG HERE IT COMES!_

**Present Day**

"ASHLEY" Spencer yells.

Oh Shit!

"Huh?"

"Where did you go just now?" You don't want to know! I'm quiet. "Okaaaay don't tell me. But someone is still knocking on your door.

Oh God no. I hoped she'd be gone by now. I get up and go back to the door. I was going to have to face this sooner or later. You see while I was looking for Spencer over the past month me being the sexual deviant that I am... I couldn't control myself. Honestly I tried. But it just happened. I met this girl through Aiden and we had sex! Don't be mad at Aiden. He was only trying to cheer me up! He didn't think I would ever find Spencer either. Anyway, that's whose at my door. And If Spencer sees her she's going to know, and she's going to leave me again. And I don't want to risk that!

I open the door... GOD HELP ME...

**Friday May 25th 6:07p.m**

"What are you doing here Bianca?" I ask opening the door again.

"I wanted to see you." She replies.

"Ash who is it baby?" Spencer calls from behind.

"Who is that?" Bianca asks me.

"Its Spencer, my girlfriend." I reply truthfully.

"I didn't know th..." I cut her off

"I know you didn't." I never told her about Spencer. I didn't think Spencer was coming back. I didn't think I would find her.

"Bianca look she just got back today and I'm not trying to lose her again so please don't.." She cuts me off

"I'm not, you're safe." She says sounding hurt. I hate breaking girls hearts but Spencer has my heart. She really does.

"Thank you." I say sounding relieved.

"Maybe I should just go." No you shouldn't then Spencer would think I'm hiding something from her. Which I am but I don't want her to know that.

"Maybe you should come in and meet her." What? She said she would behave.

"Ok." Why did she agree so fast? I move so she can come in. Spencer is looking so confused right now.

"Spencer, this is Bianca. A friend I made while you were in New York." I'm contemplating telling her right now because I don't want this to come back and bite me in the ass.

"OK. Hi Bianca." They shake hands. I'm a little relieved. "Ash, what is this about?" There's that question again. God I have to come clean.

"Spencer I have to tell you something. And I don't want you to hate me or leave, just hear me out please." Oh God what am I doing?

"Ashley you don't have..." I stop Bianca.

"I know. I want to."

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?" She seems upset. Rightfully I guess.

"Spencer, sit down please."

"NO! I don't want to sit down I just want to know what's going on right now!"

"Fine. Spencer, this is Bianca. I met her while you were out of town!"

"Ok. We've already established that." God, can't you just get it without me having to say it!

"Spencer... I.." The look on her face said it all. At that moment she got it. She knew. And there was so much hurt in her eyes that I knew... I knew it was over. She didn't say anything she just stood there. I didn't want to say anything and make it worse. Bianca looked scared.

"Maybe I should just go." Bianca said.

"NO! You stay. I'll go." Spencer said sounding more hurt than I've ever heard her.

"Spence, please." I said running after her.

"Don't! Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't think about me, don't call me. We're done. Over."

"But, I.." She cuts me off.

"I asked one thing of you Ash while I was gone. It hasn't even been a week yet. And you're already fucking someone else." OMG wow.

"Spencer that's not true! I slept with her like a month ago before i knew where you were." Damn. That did not just help my case did it?

"But you love me though right? How could you Ash? Because you did it before you found me that makes it ok?"

"No, that's not it baby. You know that's not it. I just..."

"You just can't be faithful." She said cutting me off.

"I can, I just, I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"Ashley, you're incapable of loving someone other than yourself. And I'm the stupid one for thinking you could."

"Spence..."

"I regret the day I met you." Was the last thing she said before walking out the door. I sat down on the floor. Didn't know what else to do.

"Ashley.." Bianca tried.

"Just go please." I beg her. It's not her fault so I can't be mad at her. She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't know about Spencer.

"OK." she simply says and walks out the door. I sit on the living room floor and just cried. Everything I touch turns to dust. I can't keep a stable relationship. I hurt everyone that I truly love. Maybe everyone's life would just be so much better if I we're dead and gone...


	18. Broken Hearts and Birthday Parties

**Chapter 18  
**

**Friday July 13th**

Its been a few weeks and Spencer won't answer my phone calls and I don't know what to do! Should I just leave her alone. Give her what she wants? Move on? I can't, I love her more than anything. It was a stupid stupid mistake and II regret it so much now!

I get out of bed and walk downstairs to find Gabby, Aiden, Kyla, Adrian, Anna, Aubrey, and my mom and dad all in the kitchen and just as I walk in everyone gets quiet.I mean I know my birthday is Monday but with everything going I said I didn't want a party so I hope they're not planning one.

"Hey Ash honey." My dad says to me as I enter the kitchen. His voice always has just been able to make me feel better. He doesn't even have to say anything encouraging. I love my daddy.

"Hi daddy. Whats going on?"

"We'll we were planning you a party but then we all decided that with the whole Spencer thing we didn't know if you still wanted one or not." My mother tells me.

"Yeah, I'm good. I don't want one." I tell them truthfully. I'm just way too depressed over Spencer.

"But Ash, you've been talking about having a party for months!" Kyla interjects.

"Yeah Ash." Aiden and Gabby add.

"Just don't want one you guys."

"What the hell. If she doesn't want a damn party then so what. Oh my god!" Aubrey says rolling her eyes at me.

"Shut up Aubrey." My dad snaps at her. You see why I love him so much!

"Look maybe next year. 19 is not an important age anyway." I say turning to leave. Kyla chases after me.

"Ash look I know you're upset and sad about Spence. I'm sad for you guys but she has a right to be mad Ash. You slept with someone else while you claimed to be in love with her. I'd be mad at you too!" Hate it when she's right.

"I know, but she said she wish she'd never met me Ky."

"I know Ashy Bear, I know!" I fell to the floor in Kyla's arms and cried. She hasn't called me Ashy Bear since we we're kids. I've missed her. I miss Spence now just everything. My dad came out and picked me up and carried me upstairs to my room.

"Ash sweetie, this Spencer young lady, she was a nice girl but is she really worth you being depressed? I know you loved her honey I could tell, but you have to snap out of this! It's not healthy." He's right. I have to. I'd give anything to have her right now but I can't let this situation control my life.

"K daddy."

"So are we having your party or not?" He ask smiling?

"Yes sir. We can have it." He seems happier than I am.

"Alright. I'll give you a week to get yourself together and we'll have it next Saturday ok?"

"But that's Aubrey's birthday."

"Yeah I know."

"She's turning 21 though, isn't that more important?"

"She'll have her day as well."

"K."

"Alright sweetie. I'll go tell everyone it's back on."

"K." He gets up to walk out the door. "And daddy..." I add

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I love you." I say with a smile.

"I love you more." He says back.

"See you later daddy."

"Not if I see you first." He says then leaves the room. My dad was my best friend. He always knew what to say to make me feel better. And he's the only one that believes in me.

**4:32 P.M**

"Ash, Ash wake up!" I open my eyes to see Ky standing over me smiling.

"What is it Ky?" Trying to get some sleep.

"I have a surprise for you at the party next Saturday." You had to wake me to tell me something you could have told me when I got up? She's staying with us this whole week until after the party Saturday. I'm glad she's back but she's being annoying already.

"Ok Ky. Tell me about it when I get up."

"But if I tell you about it then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?

"Ok, I guess not. Well ok. Just go away then." I say smiling at her to let her know that I was joking. I mean I was serious but I was joking.

"Ok fine! I'm just so excited you know."

"Yes I know. But go away" I yell jokingly.

"Fine, I'm gone!" She says as she leaves my room. Oh how I've missed her! I roll over and go back to sleep.

**Saturday July 21st  
**  
**12:07p.m  
**  
So it's the day of my party and I guess I'm sort of excited! Not really sure how to feel at this moment! Only thing I'm wishing for is a miracle and that miracle is Spence. Almost a month now and I've heard Absolutely nothing from her. I hate things have ended up this way between us. I messed up and I know it and I would do anything to take back what I did. I'm just laying up in my room thinking about all this when my thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my door.

"Come in." I yell to the person a little aggravated my thoughts of Spencer had been interrupted.

"Hey sweetie, Sorry to bother you. Just coming up and checking up on you. You haven't come down all morning." He says sitting down next to me on the bed.

"I know. Just still thinking about Spencer dad. I miss her. I wish she were coming tonight." I say 100% truthfully!

"I know sweetie. So do I." Really? Why do you want her there?

"Because I know that's the one thing you're missing that would make your night perfect." Was I thinking out loud again?

"I always know what you're thinking sweetie!"

"Dad you're kinda creeping me out." He smiles and stands up,

"I'll see you later sweetie. I love you."

"Not if I see you first. And I love you too daddy!" He leaves out and I lay on my bed thinking about what tonight could possibly bring. I want to have fun but then at the same time, I would feel kind of guilty if I had fun without Spencer. I'm sure that a bunch of my ex's are going to be there. Dreading that too!

**7:42 p.m  
**  
So... The party is here. I'm here. Standing in the corner being me. The set up is awesome everything is AWESOME. Except one thing. Spencer isn't here. It would be so great if Spen... omg she's here. Oh my god. Spencer is standing directly in front of me and I'm pretty sure I'm looking stupid right now because I'm in shock.

"Ash. Close your mouth." Ky says with a smile on her face.

"But its.. you.. I .. Spen...what?" Was all I could get out.

"I think the words you're looking for are thank and you." Kyla said smiling even harder. " This is my gift to you big sis. Happy birthday." Kyla said and walked away. Well she sorta kinda skipped away as though she'd done the most awesomest thing in the world! Which she did.

"Hi." OMG not this again! I'm finding it hard to form words!

"Hi." She says with a slight smile. That's good right. She's smiling.

"I've misse..." She cuts me off.

"Ashley, you messed up. Big time. But what I said was mean and hurtful and I didn't mean it I promise you I didn't I just, I was so hurt I wanted to get even and make you feel the pain that I felt which was stupid too! I've been doing alot of thinking over the past month and I mean ALOT. And I've come to the conclusion that I love you. Point blank, plain and simple. And the mere thought of spending the rest of my life without you is pure madness. You are everything I've ever wanted and I know that you're going to make mistakes and mess up, so will I but if with every stumbling block we have to start over then I'm willing to do that as long as I know at the end of the day I'll have you in my corner. That you're my girl!" She's smiling. And I mean she's really smiling. I'm at a loss for words. I'm just, oh fuck it. I kiss her and I kiss her hard. I kiss her like I haven't seen her in years! And she kisses me back. I've missed this, missed her.

"Spencer I love you and I'm so sorry I promise I'll change I promise on my life I will."

"I know you will baby." She believes me? So good to know. "So can we get back to your party now?"

"Yes. Most definitely we can." Finally, happiness! As the night continues I'm having a blast Spencer and I are dancing. I really didn't care that anyone else was there really! To me, it was just her and I. Dancing the night away. I had a skateboard cake, got two cars (well i got one of the cars like a week before my bday but it was still a gift from my dad) and PINK performed. OH AND SPENCER IS BACK. Best night of my life overall. Couldn't have gotten any better. After the party we all went back to my house. Stay up for a while then finally fell asleep Spencer in my arms. Ok we made out for a while and did a little groping before going to sleep. But what do you expect? Especially from me?


	19. The Pain It Causes

**Chapter 19**

**Sunday 1:09 p.m**

"DAD!" I yell down the stairs.

"YES ASHLEY SWEETIE?" he yells back up.

"MOM WANTS YOU TO COME AND GET HER." she went back to the place where the party was last night to see that the clean up went smoothly. Typical mom.

"OKAY HONEY, TELL HER I'M ON MY WAY!" I dropped mom off this morning because her car is in the shop she wanted me to come and get her but I wanted to spend as much time with my baby as I possibly could.

Even though she isn't going anywhere. Still, don't judge me! I missed her!

"K." I yell down before going in my room and shutting the door behind me. Spencer and I are cuddling on my bed catching up on the past few months. I even told her about me and Bianca, like ALL the details.

Just want to be completely honest and not have any more secrets!

**7:12 p.m**

My phone is ringing. I'm making out with Spencer and I don't want to turn over and see who it is. But it KEEPS going off!

UGH!

I turn over and grab it off the nightstand. It's Gabby. Why is Gabby calling me? She's knows that Spencer and I are together and I'm trying to make up for lost time. I answer it anyway.

"Hello." I yell into the phone.

"Ashley... I." She sounds like she's crying. Why is she crying?

"What's wrong Gabby. Did something happen to you? Are you ok?" I ask a little worried.

"It's not me Ash." If it's not you who is it then? Just tell me already!

"Gabs what's wrong really?"

"Your parents." OK my parents what?

"What about them?"

"Ashley, I don't know how to say this." Now I think I'm going to cry.

"Gabby what is it?" I'm standing up now pacing back and forth. Gabby is being really quiet. Spencer is looking at me really concerned.

"Ash. Your mom and dad were in a car accident. When the paramedics came your dad he... your dad wasn't... he was already gone and there was nothing they could do to save him... your mom she's in critical..." Her words began to fade out as my sobs began to cover them. I immediately fall to the floor. I can't breathe I can't move. She didn't say what I think she said. She didn't this is all a dream, a bad bad dream that I'm going to wake up from soon!

"Ash baby what's wrong?" Spencer jumps up from the bed and comes over to me. I can't talk at this point. She grabs the phone out of my hand and asks gabby what's going on. After that pretty much everything is a blur.

I remember going to the hospital to see my mom. Waiting to hear whether or not she was going to be ok. But that's about it. My dad... my father, the most important person in the world to me. Gone... at 40. Words cannot express how much I loved my dad. He was like my whole world, and now he's gone.

I remember waking up the next day in a hospital waiting room, Spencer right there holding my hand. I think I cried all night. I would give anything and I mean anything to have my dad back.

**Monday 9:43 a.m**

"Ashley sweetie can I get you anything?" Spencer asks me as I open my eyes that are hurting and probably red from all the crying I've done in the past 10 or so hours.

"No thank you. I just want you to hold me and never let go." I say about to cry again.

"Ok." She says simply and complies. Now we sit and wait. Wait to here if I'm going to lose a father and a mother...

**Monday 11:57 a.m**

As we sat in the waiting room waiting for the doctors to come and tell us the news, I couldn't help but think of everything that I've ever done in my life to my parents and feel bad.

I mean come on, I could have been a much better child.

I was stubborn and childish sometimes, especially if I didn't get my way.

I just wanted things back the way they were.

Us, all together, a family.

But I knew that could never happen again.

I knew things would never be the same.

Here comes a white coat.

He's looking down, why is he looking down?

That usually means bad news.

I can't take anymore bad news today.

He reaches us and I stand up to hear what he has to say.

"Are you all Mrs. Davies family?" he asks.

Duh. Who the hell else would we be?

"Yes we are." I think that was Kyla.

"Is our mother going to be okay?" I think that was Adrian.

"She's had some internal bleeding and a broken leg but we were able to locate the source of the bleeding and repair it in time. She is in recovery now, but she should be just fine." We all let out a sigh of relief. "She will have to stay in the hospital for a while so that we can monitor her and make sure we stopped all the bleeding. You all can go up and see her whenever you are ready."

As much as my mom bugged me and as much as I hated her at times...

I loved her.

She's my mom!

Its her job to annoy me.

I couldn't imagine not having her around.

My daddy... I miss him already.

The thoughts of losing my dad sends my brain into overdrive and I begin to cry again, falling back down into the chair.

Spencer of course right here by my side comforting me.

She didn't even have to ask what was wrong, she knew.

She always just knows.

Everyone got up and started towards my moms hospital room.

Spencer and I stayed back and waited.

I wanted to be alone with her.

I needed to talk to her. Tell her that I'm sorry for all the trouble and pain I've caused over the years and I'd rather not do it with Aubrey in the room, she'd most likely blame this all on me anyway.

"Can I get you anything baby? You haven't eaten since yesterday." Spencer asks me.

"No, I'm fine. I want to go home and shower and come back." Hopefully by then everyone will have gone to do the same thing. Everyone is here and when I say everyone I mean everyone. Anna, Adrian, Aubrey, Kyla, her bitch ass mom Amanda, my niece, my grandma and grandpa, everyone, even some people from my dads job.

Who the hell comes to the hospital in a 500 dollar suit?

"Ok." She says and we head towards the exit.

We arrived at my house, which now doesn't even feel like a home.

It feels empty, like it will forever be missing something.

Him.

"I'm going to go shower, I'll be back down in a minute." I tell Spencer as I walk up the stairs. She nods and sits down on the couch.

I think she is as sad as I am.

I mean her and my dad got along great.

He treated her better then her own family did.

Especially after she told them about us.

That's why she went to New York.

Well... and because of me.

I head upstairs and into my bedroom.

I shut the door behind me so she wouldn't hear me crying.

She probably knew that's what I was going to do anyway.

I loved my dad more than my own life.

I wish that it had been me instead of him.

I laid down on my bed clutching the teddy bear my dad had given me for my 5th birthday.

Mr. Looneybear is what I named him.

I laid there for probably an hour crying.

Spencer didn't come up once.

I thank her for giving me a little space.

Finally, I get up to go shower. After my shower I head back downstairs to find Spencer asleep on the couch.

She's tired, she probably stayed up all night.

I don't really remember, last night is kind of a blur.

I decided to just let her sleep.

I grabbed a blanket out of the closet and draped it over.

I went into the kitchen to make me a snack.

Something my daddy always did for me...

God, how I miss him!


	20. Epilogue

**Chapter 20**

**Epilogue**

After my dad died things got a little crazy with his will and my mom being in the hospital.

Spencer stuck through it with me though.

The whole time she was right there by my side, and that made me love her even more.

My dad was buried on August 2nd.

It was practically the worst day of my life. I knew then that I would never see him again and that hurt worse than the day I found out he had died.

My mom didn't attend the funeral because she was still in the hospital.

I'm not sure if she would have been able to with stand it anyway.

The funeral was held in a small church in Kansas City, Kansas, where my dad grew up.

On August 11th, my mom was released from the hospital, she still had a broken leg, but she was doing a lot better.

After my mom was released from the hospital we had to meet up with the family lawyer for the reading of the will.

The will stated that my dad had entered a new contract with his company for over 90 thousand dollars, and he wanted each child to receive an equal share of that. He also had two life insurances. For one, the payout was 100 thousand and for the other it was 750 thousand.

Apparently my mom knew nothing about the 750 thousand one.

He wanted that to be shared among his children as well.

But not until he felt we were of the appropriate age. Which meant I wasn't getting my money until I turned 21 and neither was Kyla. Aubrey was so happy that she had just turned 21.

Seemed all she cared about was the money.

I could have cared less about it!

* * *

We all sort of grew apart after my dad died.

My mom tried so hard to keep us all together.

She was trying, I'll give her that.

She had just lost her husband and she couldn't bare losing any of her children.

We tried our best to get along, for her sake. But then she went and did the worst thing a woman who just lost her husband could do...

* * *

**Check out the Sequel "Nineteen Ain't So Angelic Either"**


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